Archive for the ‘Uncategorized’ category

Trying to catch the crazy train?

September 3, 2015

John Kasich, who has a reputation for sanity: – “If I become president, I’m going to name it back to Mt. McKinley. This is not something we appreciate or agree with in Ohio.”
Then the Ohio governor added “The reason the mountain was named that way in my understanding is a guy was out there climbing, he saw this big peak, and he wanted to celebrate the achievements of President McKinley, so he named it Mt. McKinley.”
Uh, the guy who named it did so in 1896. When McKinley hadn’t even been ELECTED President yet. ‪#‎cantfixstupid‬

So in today’s ruling Judge Berman wrote that “Brady had no notice that such conduct was prohibited, or any reasonable certainty of potential discipline stemming from such conduct The Court concludes that, as a matter of law, no NFL policy or precedent notifies players that they may be disciplined (much less suspended) for general awareness of misconduct by others.”

The Saints called.. They want 2012 back.

A British study found that cats didn’t suffer from separation anxiety when their owners are gone. Not only that,, the felines didn’t feel the need to post cute human pictures on social media.

(And of course maybe it has nothing to do with separation anxiety.  Maybe cats just don’t like being studied.)

A poisonous 8 foot long King Cobra snake has escaped from a house in Orlando near Disney World. So all you thrill-seeking tourists, no need to wait in line for the Indiana Jones ride.

The wife of Redskins GM Scot McCloughan has apologized for tweets implying that an ESPN reporter had exchanged sexual favors for scoops. Well, give Washington credit, they never stop at just being embarrassing ON the field.

A judge has ordered Kentucky clerk Kim Davis to jail for refusing to issue gay marriage licenses. And the price for Davis’s future speaking fees to conservative groups keeps going up.

Whatever happens in the GOP primary this Donald Trump-Jeb Bush feud is entertaining.  And so mature.  Too soon to start a pool, on the first to accuse the other with “Liar, liar, pants on fire?”

Five Rutgers football players were charged yesterday for allegedly assaulting another student in April. They have been suspended from the program. So does it mean the Scarlet Knights are recruiting more than the average number of thugs? Or are the New Brunswick police less accommodating than those, in say, Tallahassee?

Now Donald Trump has indeed signed a pledge saying he would not run as a third party candidate. But no doubt Trump is thinking “Well, with the Greens, the Libertarians, etc, it would be at least a fifth or sixth party.”

It’s a funny game. Tonight the San Diego Padres scored as many runs in FIVE innings against the Dodgers bullpen (6), as the SF Giants did this week against the entire Los Angeles pitching staff in 3 games and 32 innings

Are these people trying to put the Onion out of business? The lawyer for Kim Davis: “Does that mean that if you’re Christian, don’t apply here; if you’re a Jew, you gotta get — what happened in Nazi Germany, what happened there first, they removed the Jews from government public employment, then they stopped patronizing them in their private businesses, then they continued to stigmatize them, then they were the ‘problems,’ then they killed them.” Yes, he said it.

from T.C.  “UCLA has suspended Ishmael Adams from the football team as he was arrested for robbing a Uber driver. He must be majoring in Rocket Science as Uber only takes payments via credit and debit cards.”

Wanna get away?

September 2, 2015

Frontier Airlines has a “Fly For Only a Buck” sale, offering $1 flights. Now if you want to fly on the INSIDE of the plane….

Live hens running around on the Bay Bridge snarled traffic Wednesday am.  Guess it was another day where people are late to work with chicken sh*t excuses.

DWTS announced their latest lineup this morning. Guess it would be too cumbersome to title the show “Dancing with a Lot of People Who You Might Have Heard of or Who Used to be Famous?”

Regarding all these conservatives trumping “religious freedom” for that clerk in Kentucky: How would they feel if a clerk who was Buddhist or Hindu or even Christian decided that killing animals for sport was against God’s law and refused to issue hunting licenses?

The newly renamed ‪#‎Denali‬ mountain is apparently 10 feet shorter than previously measure. So clearly THIS is Obama’s fault.

Taco Bell is testing a new taco with a shell made out of fried chicken. So the shell may be the only real meat found in the taco.

Great moments in corporate America: Listening to Safeway brag over the loud speaker about opening more registers so there are never more than three in line to save YOU time during your busy day. While you are number four in the only open regular line.

In many ways it really is a shame ‪#‎KimDavis‬ didn’t marry into the ‪#‎Duggar‬ family.

Been a tough year for the SF Giants with injuries, but at least they didn’t spend $95 million on Pablo Sandoval. Who at .247 for the Boston Red Sox may not be hitting his weight. ‪#‎dodgedabullet

Dean Jones, star of “The Love Bug, “That Darn Cat,” “The Man in the Grey Flannel Suit,” and other Disney movies, has passed away. Just for remembering those movies I feel old. And learning he was 84, I feel older

Yes we are getting that stupid. Or litigious. Foster Farms sells a ready-to-cook turkey breast roast in its own oven tray.

Instructions say to pre-heat the oven to 350 degrees. Ok. Fine. And then “remove the plastic wrap on the package” and place in oven. (italics mine.)

So here’s a compromise thought on the idea of robo-umps versus the current system: Why not try making balls and strikes reviewable? With a limited number of challenges per game.

It doesn’t seem fair that a game-changing missed call at first can be overturned, while a missed call resulting in a game-changing walk or strikeout cannot be.

Dwight Howard, who was caught with a gun in his carry-on bag at Houston airport, apparently won’t face charges. So maybe we know now why as a free agent Howard chose the Rockets – a Texas team -over the Lakers or Warriors in California.

A mountain of troubles?

September 1, 2015

Donald Trump is now saying he’ll rename “Denali’ back to Mt. McKinley if he’s elected president. And then presumably six months later rename it Mt. Trump.

So if the appeal of Donald Trump is that he is amusing, not absolutely beholden to a particular party ideology and not afraid to be outspoken, why for President in 2016 can’t we draft Jon Stewart?

On the subject of netting at ballparks. As best as I can research, there are 30-40 foul balls hit into the stands in MLB per game. And 2430 games a year. (162 times 15.) Total about 73,000-109,000 balls a year. Bloomberg estimates 1700 injuries from foul balls a year, counting anything that needs first aid..

73,000-109,000 – that’s a lot of childhood and adult ball catching potentially dashed because people don’t pay attention….

So the latest uproar over Hillary’s emails is that her friend Sidney Blumenthal apparently called John Boehner, “lazy, “alcoholic,” “banal and hollow..” Would some of the GOP who are upset about this care to share what they’ve called Clinton and Obama in THEIR emails?”

#‎Youcannotmakethisstuffup‬ item of the month: In SF, police are still searching for a cyclist who during last week’s Critical Mass smashed a Zipcar driver’s window with a metal bike lock. The suspect was wearing a shirt saying “Non-violence is our strength.”

The judge in Brady’s Deflategate appeal hearing ‘anticipates’ decision by end of week. “I can’t wait.” Said at this point nobody. ‪#‎enoughalready‬

So have to wonder, just how low is the unemployment rate in Kentucky that they can’t find a county clerk who actually wants to do their job?

Matt Bevin, Kentucky’s GOP nominee for Governor, says “I absolutely support her (clerk Kim Davis) willingness to stand on her First Amendment rights” and deny gay couples marriage licenses.
So okay, what happens when some other clerk decides to deny licenses to couples where one or both parties are divorced, or too old to have children, or of different religions?

And what about those who have religious feelings against killing animals with hunting licenses?

The latest #youcannotmakethisstuff up: Ms. Davis has not only been married four times, she committed adultery – the proof being twins conceived out of wedlock.

Pope Francis is granting Catholic priests the right to forgive women who have had abortions. Waiting to see the first GOP Presidential candidate to condemn him for being ungodly.

Chris Christie said last night on The Tonight Show that he is going to “go nuclear” in the next Presidential debate. So let’s see, A “nuclear” Christie vs Trump. The winner? CNN with ratings.

Jerry Brown signed a bill today that raised the fee for filing a California ballot initiative from $200 to $2,000. The idea is to discourage using the process for making outrageous statements, like proposals for executing gays, or banning the sale of shellfish.
With all due respect, they’re going to need a higher fee..

From Alex Kaseberg.  “Chicago Cubs’ Jake Arrieta tossed a no-hitter Sunday against the Dodgers. Best no-hitter I’ve seen since the Mayweather-Pacquiao fight.”

Let’s stay together.

August 31, 2015

I think I’ve got another GOP talking point down: Any Democrat who stays with a cheating husband – like Weiner or Clinton, is involved in a sham marriage for political purposes. Any Republican who stays in such a marriage is just espousing traditional family values.

If Ohio politicians, including John Boehner, are that upset about President Obama’s renaming of Denali, why don’t they just name the tallest mountain in Ohio after McKinley?

Or failing that, a roller coaster at Cedar Point?

Donald Trump again has called Anthony Weiner a ‘perv sleazebag’ And who better to know what the term means than a man who has cheated on at least two wives with a succession of increasingly younger women.

Best airport announcement of the year? From a friend who is flying Southwest via Hobby Airport and waiting for her flight. “Joe Smith, You are in Houston not Dallas. Please get back on the plane.” ‪#‎cantfixstupid‬

Two Southwest Airlines planes clipped wings on the tarmac at Oakland International Airport. Minor damage. No injuries. But Happy Hour for pilots has been canceled. ‪#‎wannagetaway‬

Ashley Madison says that despite their recent massive hack their number is users is still growing. Maybe they should rename the site “Death Wish.”

Everett Golson, who transferred from Notre Dame this spring, has now been named the Seminole’s starting quarterback over Sean Maguire. There’s still hope for Maguire to get the job back, although with FSU he can’t expect that Golson would get another suspension for academic reasons

So a lot of media outlets who won’t show Miley Cyrus’s nipple flash last night at the VMAs had no problem showing the murder of two journalists on air. ‪#‎whatacountry‬ ‪#‎priorities

Jean Machi got a save for the Red Sox tonight in a 4-3 win over the Yankees. He walked in a run, and left the bases loaded after Gregorius hit a fly ball to the warning trackl in the bottom of the 9th. So Machi may not bring Boston to the playoffs, but he has brought over some good old-fashioned SF Giants torture.

Ted Cruz is now blaming Obama for the murder of a sheriff’s deputy in Texas. As he’s blamed Obama for the Baltimore riots, encouraging radical Islam, not stopping the shooting at the Muhammad cartoon etc, the 2008 financial crisis, etc.

Maybe it would be quicker for Senator Cruz to come up with a list of things he doesn’t think are the President’s fault?

Obama apparently will appear on a special episode of the NBC outdoor adventure show Running Wild with Bear Grylls, The President figures drinking his own urine and eating ants has to be more fun than trying to work with Congress.

Wisconsin Governor Scott Walker, who has slashed social services in the state, says that his plan to plan to invest $250 million in taxpayer dollars in a new basketball arena for the Milwaukee Bucks is “fiscally responsible.”
Maybe Walker has a plan to rent out the arena after the end of the regular season, since the Bucks never use it then.

The U.S. Supreme Court today ruled against Kim Davis, the Kentucky county clerk who won’t issue same-sex marriage licenses. Wonder if the fact that Clark has allegedly been married four times herself had anything to do with it.

Pajama party

August 30, 2015

Before today’s game against the Dodgers, the Cubs announced plans to wear pajamas on the flight back to Chicago. Wonder how many other contending teams are suddenly looking on Amazon for pjs that can be delivered overnight.

(Such a pajama party wouldn’t happen with the Red Sox.  Between Panda, Oritiz and Machi, the team couldn’t find enough in their size.)

The Los Angeles Dodgers have been no-hit twice in nine days. No punchline. I just admit to like writing it.

The Little League World Series championship game was 13-11 after three innings. Did someone forget to bring the humidor? ‪#‎LLWS‬

Obama on Monday is going to restore Mt McKinley’s name to Denali. Waiting for the first GOP candidate to complain about the President trying to curry favor with foreigners.

A study in China found greater longevity for people who most frequently ate hot and spicy foods. Pass the Habanero Tabasco – I’m gonna live forever.

Washington has apparently had trade talks about RGIII. Shocking. Some team at this point might actually want him?

Bobby Jindal said legal immigrants need to immediately “learn English, adopt our values, roll up our sleeves and get to work.” Okay, shouldn’t that also apply to people who are born here?

Despite internet rumors, James Earl Jones has not died. So “Luke, I am STILL your father.”

Yankees pitcher CC Sabathia says a picture of him with what appears to be a joint on a Atlanta hotel balcony was just him smoking a cigar., He also denies rumors he has asked the team to trade him to the Rockies or Mariners.

The Des Moines Register reported these private emails Rick Perry’s Iowa campaign chair Sam Clovis about Trump. “I was offended by a man who sought and gained four student deferments to avoid the draft and who has never served this nation a day — not a day — in any fashion or way.”, “His comments reveal no foundation in Christ, which is a big deal.” and ““Why should I not be suspicious of someone who says he hates lobbyists and yet has spread millions of dollars around to Republicans and Democrats to enrich himself? ”

Who cares, another Trump hater? Except that Clovis quit with Perry and has now joined the Donald’s campaign as a national chairman. ‪#‎moneymoneymoneymoney‬

If they canceled the last week of ‪#‎NFL‬ preseason football would anyone care? Seriously?

Chris Christie is now saying that Hillary Clinton’s e-mail scandal shows she caught a “disease” of “lawlessness” from the Obama administration. So where did the New Jersey staffers who closed that bridge catch THEIR disease.?’

Travelers at Newark Airport’s Terminal C were evacuated tonight after a man entered through an exit door, and had to re-enter later through a security checkpoint. The scariest thing for many connecting passengers, they actually had to enter New Jersey.

Horror film director Wes Craven has passed away at the age of 76. So shouldn’t he really have died on a Friday the 13th?

At the VMAs, Kanye West admitted to rolling “a little something” and also said “As you have probably guessed, I have decided to run for president in 2020.” Well, Kanye is opinionated and egotistical enough, maybe he really wants to be on a 2016 ticket with Donald Trump.

Girls just wanna have fun?

August 30, 2015

Caitlyn Jenner is interested in dating a man to help her feel like a “normal woman.” Have news for her, in the Kardashian-Jenner clan, there are no normal women.

So will all those in the GOP trying to defund Planned Parenthood also sign a waiver that in case of illness they refuse to be treated with any vaccines or medicines that have come about as a result of fetal tissue research?

Josh Duggar will now apparently spend six months in a Christian rehab treatment program. Because that worked so well when he was a teenager?

“Butt dial” has been added to the OED. Some of us are old enough to remember that phrase might just have been an awkward synonym for “booty call.”

Chris Christie today said we can curb illegal immigration by tracking anyone who enters the country from the time they receive their visa, like a FedEx package.
Spoken like someone who’s never tried to track a lost FedEx package.

In Chatham, NJ, Jets center Nick Mangold quickly called 911 when he Iheard his car alarm and saw his garage door open. Police were able to get there in time to apprehend suspects thought to be responsible for almost 50 burglaries.
Posting this mostly because it’s nice to see an NFL player featured on the “good” side of an arrest story.

Sarah Palin and Donald Trump had a love fest interview. Makes sense. Each of them probably thinks the other makes them look a little less crazy.

A California couple got married in Oregon and had a smoke tent at their wedding, where a “budtender” offered guests a choice of 13 kinds of marijuana. Wonder if the wedding cake was topped with Doritos?

Rowan County Kentucky Clerk Kim Davis has been refusing to issuing marriage licenses to gay couples and says she objects to same-sex marriage for religious reasons. Now she wants the U.S. Supreme Court to grant her “asylum for her conscience.”
So, okay, if she’s that religious about marriage presume Ms. Clark also refuses licenses to couples sharing the same address (living in sin), those who have been married before, and those won’t swear an oath attesting to virginity?

The Raiders waived safety Jonathan Dowling today, for what they say were “maturity issues.’ Over-under on how long until Dowling gets offered a contract by the Redskins?

Once again, what’s in a name?

August 29, 2015

At a Colorado fundraiser, John Boehner reportedly called Ted Cruz a “jackass.” Prompting immediate calls for an apology. From donkeys.

Illinois football coach Tim Beckman has been accused of mishandling injuries and pressuring pressuring players to play hurt. Today the AD announced Beckman was fired for “unsettling violations of University policy and practice” which “do not reflect the culture that we wish to create in athletic programs for our young people.”

Well, that and a 12-25 record.

The University of Tennessee is suggesting that instead of “him” and “her,” etc., that students use gender neutral pronouns like “ze, hir, zir, xe, xem and xyr.”

Uh, what’s the problem with the perfectly gender-neutral “y’all?”

Now some conservatives want the National Portrait Gallery to remove the bust of Planned Parenthood founder Margaret Sanger. Right. But slave owners and killers of Native Americans are just fine.

She’s back.  Sarah Palin is attacking ESPN for suspending Curt Schilling over his tweet comparing Muslims and Nazis, and accused the network of “liberal global politics.”

Right, ESPN and “liberal global politics.” Sounds like Sarah watches the network as much as she reads newspapers.

A serious thought on the Palin-Schilling ESPN mess. Now, I know Curt Schilling is somewhere to the right of Atilla the Hun, but he’s generally honest about it. And Curt to his credit figured out pretty fast that his tweet was a bad idea, and apologized. Fine, I am okay with him coming back on air.

Sarah, on the other hand, is just doubling down on crazy. But I guess it’s been hard for her with some in the GOP 2016 field basically taking all her air time.

The CEO of Ashley Madison is resigning after it came to light that despite his earlier avowals of being a faithful husband, he used the site himself for multiple affairs. ” I am shocked,” said nobody.

=

RGIII has not been cleared for this weekend’s preseason game and because of concussion symptoms may not be ready for the season opener. Many Washington fans are thinking “Take your time… another four-five months of rest should do it…..”

A woman who was hit by a foul ball last year at Fenway Park is suing Boston Red owner John Henry. Wonder if the team is considering a counter suit against her for not paying attention to the game?

Florida has declared a state of emergency with the possible approach of Hurricane Erika. But no doubt Governor Rick Scott, who rails against the federal government under Obama, and has refused to accept the ACA, will do the consistent thing and reject any federal aid.

Donald Trump is now decrying “carried interest,” which he said should be taxed as ordinary income. Trump has gone after most minorities and it hasn’t hurt him, now let’s see what happens when he goes after those poor hedge fund managers.

Vin Scully has announced he will be back for his 67th season broadcasting in Los Angeles. Maybe Vin, 87, is hoping that at some point the Dodgers will treat him like a real member of the team and hand him millions of dollars for doing nothing.

An Alaska company has plans to ship as many as 10 million gallons of water a month on a tanker to California. Maybe that will offset all the water that is being bottled and shipped out of state?


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