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May 20, 2015

The last “Late Show with David Letterman” ended Wednesday, after 33 years.   The most amazing thing for the younger generation, that to watch the show you once actually had to stay up “Late Night.”

33 years ago…. to put that in perspective,  half as long as Vin Scully has been announcing.

 

In 1982 the Chicago Cubs were only in a 74 year World Series drought.

Police said they found about 1,000 weapons were found at the Twin Peaks restaurant in Waco after the shootout last weekend. Well gosh, I can certainly see why Texas lawmakers are pushing to loosen the state’s gun laws…..

 

 

George Clooney said last night on Jimmy Kimmel that his wife Amal isn’t always happy with his style of dress – “There is that moment when I’ve worn the same T-shirt like for a week that she says, ‘Really?'” Well, okay, so he’s a bit of slob. Millions of heartbroken women can now feel they’ve dodged a bullet.

You can’t make this stuff up. Virginia State Senate candidate Joe Morrissey, 57, denied allegations of a sexual relationship with his 17 year old secretary in 2013, but accepted a plea bargain with a six-month jail sentence on a misdemeanor charge of contributing to the delinquency of a minor. He’s now been released, after being re-elected while in jail, and confirms he is the father of a 9-week-old baby with the young woman. (This makes four children by four different women.)

Well, give the guy credit, at least he’s not running on a family values platform.

NY Daily News headline “Double-decker tour bus fatally slams into elderly woman in Morningside Heights” The woman was 68! 68?!!. Heck, had she been a man she’d be about the right age to play for the San Antonio Spurs. (and too young to play with the Rolling Stones.)

The Warriors’ Stephen Curry has been fined $5,000 by the NBA for flopping last night against the Rockets. Actually, these fines aren’t for flopping…they’re just for flopping clumsily enough to get caught.

Two New Jersey DEA (Drug Enforcement Agency) have been charged with illegally moonlighting by operating a strip club on the side. Maybe they had aspirations of joining the Secret Service?

A Norwegian Cruise Line ship that ran aground in Bermuda yesterday has been refloated back into the water. No word on what NCL might do regarding compensation for the passengers. If they were an airline they’d probably charge for an extra stop.

 

In the NHL, the Toronto Maple Leafs lured coach Mike Babcock away from Detroit with a 8 year, $50 million contract. It might not have just been the money. Don’t disregard not having to worry about all that stressful playoff pressure.

 

There may be better pitchers at ‪#‎ATTPark‬ for ‪#‎SFGiants‬, including a World Series MVP. But will any be more loved than ‪#‎TimLincecum‬? ‪#‎Timmy‬

 

A new study shows that for the past 10 years the worst airport in the summer for on-time flight arrivals is Newark, with only 64.5% of flights arriving on schedule. On the brighter side, 35.5% of passengers thus had less time than they expected in New Jersey.

Speculation now that the Obamas may move to New York City after they leave the White House. Though wonder if the $30 million that the Clintons have earned in the last year or so would be enough these days to buy a Manhattan apartment.

Aaron Hernandez was apparently involved in a prison fight on Monday. So congrats to all those who had May 18 in the pool.

Former senator John Glenn, 93, saying he believes evolution should be taught in schools. “I don’t see that I’m any less religious by the fact that I can appreciate the fact that science just records that we change with evolution and time, and that’s a fact. It doesn’t mean it’s less wondrous and it doesn’t mean that there can’t be some power greater than any of us that has been behind and is behind whatever is going.”
At 93, Glenn is better on that question than many current presidential candidates….

 

 

Thought for the night forwarded by an anonymous friend “I’m not saying let’s go kill all the stupid people. I’m just saying let’s remove all the warning labels and let the problem work itself .”

Ruled out?

May 20, 2015

The NFL is apparently about to change the Point After Touchdown (PAT) rule. Oakland Raiders fans are asking “The what?”

Former Notre Dame quarterback Everett Golson is transferring to Florida State and will play for the Seminoles next year. Well, at least he won’t have to worry anymore about being suspended for “poor academic judgment.”

ESPN is reporting that the NFL and New England Patriots are having “back-channel conversations” to see if they can settle Deflategate differences without an appeal or litigation. Translation, so Brady can play against the Cowboys in week 4, and Kraft and Goodell can still have dinner together….

Patriots owner Bob Kraft said the team will not appeal the NFL fine and loss of draft picks over Deflategate. Meaning there’s probably a deal to reduce Brady’s suspension. And what’s $1 million anyway. The Pats can always raise beer prices.

To boost sales, KFC is bringing back Colonel Sanders, and coming out with a fancier restaurant design. What’s next, actually spending money to improve the quality of their food?

The minor league baseball Fresno Grizzlies have joined the creative ballpark food bandwagon with “Frankenslice” – a pizza with hot dogs wrapped in the crust. Does it come with a discount coupon for an EKG?

UPS will reportedly pay $25 million in claims for falsifying “on-time” claims for ten years. And the airlines are thinking “You can do that?”

Walmart’s income $1.03 a share in the first quarter, when analysts had expected $1.05 a share. And the company blamed it partly on higher raising worker wages to at least $9 a hour. The company ended up only making $3.1 billion. Wonder if Walmart sells violins so we can get them out and play them….

 

A Rasmussen poll says 46% of voters want George Stephanopoulos banned after t came out that he donated $75,000 to the Clinton Foundation. Okay, maybe not a smart move but did any one actually think the former Clinton staffer was unbiased before? (Maybe about as many as actually believe “Fair and balanced.”)

 

Bryce Harper has 10 home runs in the last 12 games. Even Barry Bonds is thinking “Who’d be idiotic enough to throw him a strike?”

 

So after the Waco biker shootings, Texas is moving ahead with an “Open Carry” bill that will LOOSEN handgun laws, with leglislators saying things like the law had nothing to do with the shooting and it’s not as if the current law stopped them. ‪#‎Whatcouldpossiblyhavebeenworse‬? ‪#‎Whatcouldpossiblygowrong‬

 

#‎Knicks‬ fall to #4 in the ‪#‎NBADraft‬. Karmic punishment for being stupid enough to beat the ‪#‎Hawks‬ and ‪#‎Spurs‬ down the stretch.

 

 

Of course, it’s all relative. The worst-in-the-league ‪#‎Timberwolves‬ got the 1st pick in the ‪#‎NBADraft‬ but already had Rookie of the Year Andrew Wiggins. Meanwhile the last time the ‪#‎Spurs‬ had a lottery pick they took a young man named ‪#‎TimDuncan‬. ‪#‎alonglongtimeago‬

We didn’t start the fire…. but we wish we had.

May 17, 2015

 

So since Friday, when the smokestacks topped with bats caught fire at Great American Ball Park, the SF Giants have scored 30 runs in three games. Is it time to do a sacrificial bat bonfire out in the Coke Bottle at AT&T Park?

 

 

Getting the feeling that they had to have to pry ‪#‎SFGiants‬ hitters kicking & screaming out of the Cincinnati visitor’s clubhouse

A teenager fortunately escaped with non-life threatening injuries after being gored while posing for a picture with a bison a few feet away. Maybe I shouldn’t be surprised to know the teen is female. ‪#‎equalopportunityDarwin

Sunday was is “Bay to Breakers” in San Francisco. In many ways a quaint reminder of the days when California used to be considered the craziest state in the U.S.

 

 

That ‪#‎Romney‬ ‪#‎Holyfield‬ charity boxing match just may have had more action than ‪#‎Mayweather‬ ‪#‎Pacquaio‬

 

Henry Cisneros said today he thought Hillary Clinton would choose former San Antonio Mayor Julian Castro as her running mate. You’ll know the rumors are serious when some in the GOP start making noises about Castro’s birth certificate.

Bernie Sanders today on CNN denied he would be a “spoiler” in the 2016 race, and added “Maybe I shouldn’t say this: I like Hillary Clinton, I respect Hillary Clinton” But also asked if the media would “allow us to have a serious debate. Or is the only way you get media attention by ripping apart somebody else”

Besides being a self proclaimed “Democratic socialist,” Sanders is clearly too reasonable to ever be elected President.

 

Jeb Bush just joined with those who say that Christian business owners should not have to provide services for gay weddings “absolutely, if it’s based on a religious belief.”

I’d take Jeb and any of his fellow candidates more seriously if they would also come out and defend the right of those same business owners to reject wedding services where both parties haven’t remained virgins until marriage, or where one or both have been previously divorced….

So it’s becoming closer to unanimous amongst U.S.Presidential candidates that the Iraq War might have been a mistake. Now wonder who will be the first to admit there might be issues with the statement “The world is a better place without Saddam Hussein.” ‪#‎Isis‬ ‪#‎forstarters‬

Kobe and company would like to thank the ‪#‎Clippers‬ for their gallant effort in  contesting the ‪#‎Lakers‬ for this year’s most embarrassing story at Staples Center

 

Rut ro, from Marc Ragovin ” The good news: Charlotte Brown, a blind pole vaulter, won a bronze model at a recent track meet by clearing the bar at 11’6″. The bad news: her guide dog, Vador, will no longer be able to have puppies.”

Oh brother.

May 17, 2015

As Jeb Bush fumbles his way around the Iraq question, have to wonder if Jimmy Carter is quietly thinking “And they said MY brother was an embarrassing liability.”

Russian President Vladimir Putin apparently scored 8 goals while playing in an exhibition hockey game with former NHL players. Not to be outdone, Kim Jong Un reported scoring 16 goals in a game after using an anti-aircraft gun on the goalie.

#‎FAOSchwarz‬‘s flagship store in New York is closing. For many of us, especially ‪#‎TomHanks‬ fans, that’s a ‪#‎Big‬ loss.

American Pharoah has a misspelled name. These days does that make him truly America’s horse?

Walt Disney World is opening an Indiana Jones Themed bar and restaurant. Not sure all the entrees, but will one of them have to be snake?

It’s May 17. Which means we are only a month and two days away from a potential game 7 in the NBA finals No joke. ‪#‎andtheysaythebaseballseasonistoolong

 

Happiest people besides Houston Rockets fans after the Los Angeles Clippers’ collapse in game six? Advertisers for the fourth quarter of game seven. Regardless of the score, NO ONE is going to turn the game off early.

When asked if their hockey team could win the Stanley Cup most New Yorkers answer “Yes.” Most Floridians answer “We have a hockey team?”

Full credit to whoever was in charge of music at Great American Ballpark last night. While the smokestack burned they played “We Didn’t Start The Fire.”

 

Meanwhile , so all that the ‪#‎SFGiants‬ were missing to turn into an offensive juggernaut was for someone to set a fire in the outfield?

-A US raid has killed a major ISIS commander. Finally something the GOP won’t blame on Obama.


Elizabeth Warren at the Anaheim Convention Center with one of the best summation of the 2016 GOP Presidential candidates:  Some of them took too many rides on the tea cups across the street.

Anti-vaccine protestors outside the California Democratic convention have a number of signs. Including one that says the Republicans are against mandatory childhood vaccinations. And a number of Democratic candidates are thinking “Can we borrow that sign?”

The Clintons have apparently made $30 million in the last 16 months. “Slackers,” sniffed Mitt Romney.

Some Republicans are blasting Bill and Hillary Clinton for making $30 million mostly off speeches. At least they think Chelsea will make her money the American way – by inheriting it.

 

 

 

From Bill Littlejohn:  ” At a Connecticut golf course, a man in one group ahead brandished a gun on a second group behind who complained that they were moving too slow and demanded to play through. This gives new meaning to ‘approach shot’.”

(wonder if he was on vacation from Florida)

 

On fire?

May 16, 2015

cincy

So all it really took for ‪#‎SFGiants‬ bats to heat up in Cincinnati is for the ballpark to catch fire?

As we approach the 2016 election many Americans are supporting Jeb hoping he won’t repeat his brother’s presidency.. Or supporting Hillary hoping she will repeat her husband’s. ‪#‎Itsallrelative‬

A new study sponsored by Microsoft found that humans now have shorter attention spans than goldfish. Oh look, a kitten….

 

As a regular driver on the bus to hell, still have to wonder, what if we could have only sent critically injured and now convicted Boston bomber Dzhokhar Tsarnaev’s to a random HMO hospital, maybe we wouldn’t be facing the current death penalty controversy?

I understand that vigilante justice is a bad idea, and I understand that jury trials are a right. But how many millions of dollars did we spend saving the life of Boston Marathon bomber Dzhokhar Tsarnaev, and on his trial, and how many more millions will be spent on the death penalty appeals.?

A new study sponsored by Microsoft found that humans now have shorter attention spans than goldfish. Oh look, a kitten….

Fox News guest Gavin Mcinnes: “The big picture here is, women do earn less in America because they choose to… They’re less ambitious, and I think this is sort of God’s way, this is nature’s way of saying women should be at home with the kids — they’re happier there.” So which GOP Presidential candidate will hire McInnes first as a cultural adviser?

So apparently Dakota Meyer, Bristol Palin’s fiance, married another woman in 2008. No word on when they split up. But just wondering, would Sarah and others in the GOP support a religious bakery owner’s right not to make a cake for a divorced man?

 

So now there are rumors, rumors only, that Bristol Palin’s fiance may STILL be married to another woman. As someone who tries to be a decent human being, I hope the rumors are wrong. As a bus to hell comedy writer….

Hoping for ‪#‎PaulPierce‬‘s sake that during last brilliant 3-point shot attempt he didn’t pause for a split second to call “game.” ‪#‎ATLvsWAS‬

So the Stanford Band has been banned from 2015 road trips, for off-field infractions including “an annual trip in which some band members used illegal substances.” Am sure it’s just coincidence that this year’s Cardinal away games include visits to Colorado and Washington State.

 

So some outrage over ABC’s George Stephanopoulos having contributed to the Clinton Foundation. Guess I missed the outrage from the same folks over Fox News’ Rupert Murdoch’s and Roger Ailes’s donations?

 

Smoke and mirrors?

May 13, 2015

A new Johns Hopkins University of Medicine study found that new stronger strains of marijuana could cause people exposed to second-hand smoke to test positive for pot drug in a urine analysis. Was this study sponsored by the NFL Players Association?

 

Corey Kluber, 113 pitches, 8 inning one-hit shutout, 18 strikeouts! And Indians took him out of game. ‪#‎oldschoolpitchersareweeping‬

But hey, it’s about pitch counts now. And we all know pitch counts make a big difference in pitchers’ health, because so few young players are getting injured these days and/or needing surgery…. Oops, never mind.

 

Cowboys owner Jerry Jones, in support of Roger Goodell and his Deflategate decision: “I think he’s doing a great job, and I’m a big supporter of his. … I know one of his best qualities is fairness.” Translation. Either Romo likes hard footballs, or Jones knows he handles his balls himself.

Former FSU coach Bobby Bowden, 85, on Jameis Winston “I think it’s a consensus amongst Florida State fans and boosters that he was an embarrassment in a lot of ways to the university.” Sigh, Bowden was a great coach. But memory is one of the first things to go. ‪#‎FreeShoesUniversity‬

A couple who was convicted of “lewd and lascivious exhibition” for having sex on a crowded beach with children around not only faces jail time, they must register as sex offenders. Right, because their display was almost as bad as what many American children see every night on television?

The Arizona attorney general’s office has filed charges against a woman who in 2010 faked having cancer to get an abortion. Agree that it was wrong. But imagine what kind of mother she would have made.

Searchers looking for Malaysia Airlines flight 370 in the Indiana Ocean have discovered a 19th century shipwreck. Stand by for the CNN special talking about if it’s a cruise ship.

A small detail that got lost in last night’s SF Giants 8-1 win over the Astros. Nori Aoki was originally called safe at first, but the call was overturned quickly after a video review. The first base umpire? Jim Joyce. ‪#‎Fiveyearstoolate‬ ‪#‎ArmandoGalarraga‬

 

 

In Wisconsin, the state assembly passed bills mandating drug tests for welfare recipients, and requiring that monthly stipends be used for healthy foods. Okay, fine, can we also drug test Wisconsin assembly members, and require them to use their $88 a DAY living expenses on healthy food too?

So American Idol has been cancelled in part because of what some call WGWG (“White guys with guitars) syndrome. Where the winners are cute WGWG’s who may win votes from mostly young female viewers, but never amount to anything. And what do they do for their penultimate final? Send the girl rocker home in favor of two WGWGs

 

 

 

Why people who aren’t in the travel industry shouldn’t write travel articles: A SF Chronicle story from Business Insider on the “best Hawaiian islands for every type of traveler” says “Best for honeymooners – Lanai” – …” “a perfect destination for honeymooners who are seeking privacy and seclusion. Since the island’s two Four Seasons Resorts are currently closed to the public for renovations, visitors can enjoy more seclusion and fewer tourists.

Uh, yes, since the ONLY two major hotels on the island are closed, and the ONLY hotel open is the funky Hotel Lanai with 11 rooms, there’s plenty of seclusion…..

M Gone Blue.

May 12, 2015

Dennis Norfleet, Michigan’s all-time leader in kick returns and kick return yards has been dismissed from the program over a disciplinary issue with new coach Jim Harbaugh. Shall we start a pool with which SEC team Norfleet will end up?

Jim Harbaugh and Michigan have self-reported four minor violations to the NCAA. One of them, that he sent an autographed helmet and jersey to a high school auction benefiting a scholarship fund. (Which apparently Jim didn’t know was illegal.) Really good to see that the NCAA is focused on the important things.

Verizon is buying AOL. In hopes that finally two wrongs do make a right?

So apparently in yesterday’s apparent road rage incident involving George Zimmerman, both Zimmerman and the man who allegedly shot him -resulting in minor injuries -had guns with them at the time. And Darwin is thinking “Missed a two-fer by THAT much”

Tom Brady’s agent has accused Ted Wells of running a biased “sting” investigation on “Deflategate”, and Wells has fired back defending himself and the report. I’m wondering how long until one of the fired Patriots’ employees decides to supplement his severance pay with a book deal…..‪#‎whenyoureinaholestopdigging‬?

Today President Obama’s Tuesday fast-track trade deal was stalled in the Senate….by Democrats. And over at Fox News heads are exploding. ‪#‎dowehavetopickaside‬?

Just got a pre-sale notice for the Radio City Music Hall Christmas Spectacular. So is it time for stores to start decorating?

The U.K. Daily Mail is reporting that the real reason Lindsey Vonn and Tiger Woods split up is that she found out he cheated on her. “I can’t believe Tiger would do that” said nobody.

A woman gave birth on an AIr Canada flight to Japan, and said she hadn’t even known she was pregnant. Another graduate of “Abstinence only” education?

Donald Trump has apparently TRADEMARKED the slogan “Make America Great Again” for his Presidential campaign. Is he trying to top “Mission Accomplished?”

 

Per Duane Kuiper, ‪#‎SFGiants‬ are hitting 5 for 26 with the bases loaded in 2015. Matt ‪#‎Duffy‬ with the bases loaded is 3 for 4. ‪#‎McGehee‬ who?

The SF Giants have a much maligned farm system.  But starting today. Pitcher Chris Heston, catcher Buster Posey, first baseman Brandon Belt, second baseman Joe Panik, shortshop Brandon Crawford, and third baseball Matt Duffy. Every single one of them home-grown talent.

MLB has tightened security for its game balls after Deflategate. Angels pitcher C.J. Wilson commented “Obviously, there’s not as much that you can do to baseballs. I mean, you can’t change the density of the baseball at any point — unless you dunk them in water. Then they’re going to be 9 ounces, and everyone’s going to blow their arms out.” Hmm. wonder how he knew that?

Lindsay Lohan, who still has more than half of her 250 mandated community service hours to go from a 2013 reckless driving conviction, apparently missed her first day Tuesday at a Brooklyn preschool. This could really put her in jeopardy with Hollywood’s “37 strikes and you’re out” policy.


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