Rick Santorum is trying to explain his 2008 statement that ““Satan has his sights on the United States of America!” Stay tuned, maybe he’ll say he’s dyslexic and was talking about Santa. – Albert Pujols is objecting to billboards as part of the Angels marketing campaign that refer to him “El Hombre,” Pujols has asked [...]
Archive for the ‘political jokes’ category
Ho, ho, ho?
February 23, 2012To theology and beyond?
February 22, 2012Mitt Romney’s latest speech Tuesday night said that the Obama adminstration has “fought against religion.” Rick Santorum’s talking about phony ideology, and Newt Gingrich is zealously defending his new Catholicism. Are we electing a President or a Pope? – Rick Santorum is talking about President Obama’s “phony theology not based on the Bible.” Leaving aside [...]
From Moneyball to Mannyball.
February 21, 2012Yes, it’s true, Manny Ramirez has signed a minor league with the As?!! Stay tuned for “Mannyball.” Wonder if this will be a comedy or a tragedy? Or both? – With Manny Ramirez back in baseball with the A’s, are some sports fans going from Linsanity to Manny-ic Depression? – Fox pundit Liz Trotta has [...]
Scoring change.
February 19, 2012Apparently Maine may recount their caucuses, and Mitt Romney could end up losing the state to Ron Paul. This after he lost Iowa in a recount to Rick Santorum. Looks like Mitt’s victories may win up beng as long lasting as his positions. – A new California Family Health Council program will allow teens in [...]
The King’s speech.
February 18, 2012Lebron James said he could see himself back in Cleveland some day. And some fans in Miami are upset. Seems like James’ idea of a long-term committed relationship might be the same as Newt Gingrich’s. – Lebron is trying to quell controversy in Miami over his remarks about possibly returning to the Cavaliers at some [...]
Parenthood, and other birth control jokes.
February 17, 2012Rick Santorum is distancing himself from a major donor’s comment about using aspirin for contraception. After Foster Friess said that “gals put it between their knees, and it wasn’t that costly.” Santorum called Friess’ comment a “stupid joke.” Wonder if Rick figured that out before or after he fathered seven children. – Those who oppose [...]
Catching a rising star?
February 16, 2012The Golden State Warriors are playing better of late, but they don’t have any real stars, and can’t seem to attract the kind of player who gets national attention and becomes a media sensation.. Gosh, wonder where they could possibly find a player like that?. Oops, never mind…. – How big a sensation is Jeremy [...]
“Any Lin-gering Doubts?”
February 15, 2012Lin-sanity continues. Tuesday night’s comeback finishes with 3 pointer with .09 to go. Even Tim Tebow is saying “Are you f***ing kidding me? – Despite the hype, Jeremy Lin isn’t perfect. As his former Palo Alto High coach Peter Diepenbrook will attest. For example, his mom once said (really) “Jeremy has an A-minus in math. [...]
Highfaluting’ heifers?
February 14, 2012A Texas high school cheerleader coach was fired after one of the cheerleaders recorded her yelling at the young women “Who do you think you all are? Highfalutin heifers. You just come and go as you please…” “Highfalutin’ heifers?” Heck, I give her points for creative alliteration. – Fox New’s Liz Trotta, on rapes in [...]
“Unimaginable?”
February 13, 2012One statement released about Whitney Houston’s death said it was “Unimaginable.” “Sad”, yes, “a terrible waste”, yes, “horrible for her daughter”, yes. But “unimaginable?” Not exactly. Maybe not even completely “unexpected.” (Are you paying attention, Lindsay Lohan?) – Though questions remain about Whitney Houston’s death, the sad truth is that the person she probably needed [...]
What’s in a name?
February 12, 2012Chad Ochocinco is changing his name again. In other words, Ochocinco is Ocho-Seis’ed. – Then there’s Meta World Peace on Jeremy Lin: “We think he needs a better haircut. I don’t like that style. We’re in New York, the fashion capital. You’re a star now. Wear some shades. Shades, OK? Put down the nerdy Harvard [...]
Is this a great country or what?
February 11, 2012What a great country. Our president is black and the most talked about player in the NBA is Asian. – The Jeremy Lin fan club now extends to everyone outside of the greater Los Angeles area (plus a lot of Clippers fans.) – Well, Kobe Bryant knows who Jeremy Lin is now. – Tim Tebow [...]
So confusing….
February 10, 2012A picture forwarded by a friend explaining social media: – Mark Zuckerberg says he inadvertently “liked” Mitt Romney on Facebook. See, this darn thing has become so complicated and convoluted, even its founder gets confused. – Tiger Woods is back at Pebble Beach. What a week in sports. The most talked about golfer once again [...]
Knicks are Roll-Lin
February 9, 2012Sign held by an Asian man at Verizon Center where the Jeremy Lin led Knicks beat the Washington Wizards – “Who says we can’t drive?” – Unclear on the concept: Jeremy Lin’s former Palo Alto High coach Peter Diepenbrock “In the last 24 hours, I’ve taken calls from more than 12 different sportswriters in New [...]
Tax dollars working hard for the money?
February 8, 2012The House just overwhelmingly passed a bill banning welfare recipients from spending federal aid in strip clubs. No problem there. It would probably be unconstitutional, but shame they can’t also pass a bill banning those in Congress from using their taxpayer funded stipends in strip clubs. – Can’t wait to see what Tom Brady says [...]
No “I” in Team. But there is an “I” in Giselle.
February 7, 2012Chrysler’s “Halftime in America” Super Bowl ad is being talked about as a potential boost for President Obama. Republicans are just trying to figure out how to discredit that liberal icon Clint Eastwood. – “Extra” TV host Maria Menounos, a New England fan, paid off on a bet by wearing a New York Giants bikini [...]
If you’re reading this….
February 5, 2012You must have all your Super Bowl shopping done. – Based on the crowds in Safeway, today is clearly the junk food shopping equivalent of the day before Thanksgiving. – Fidel Castro has released a 1,000 page memoir, saying “I have to take advantage now, because memories fade. I am willing to do everything possible [...]
America’s game
February 4, 2012Your tax dollars at work: 35% of people who attend the Super Bowl write it off as a corporate expense. – Wonder which team Mitt Romney has picked for his $10,000 bet on the Super Bowl? – Newt Gingrich’s latest rant Friday was against the New York City “elites.” Well, at least that leaves out [...]
Happy Groundhog Day
February 2, 2012Punxsutawney Phil woke up early this morning, saw Newt Gingrich and Mitt Romney going at it, and immediately buried himself back in his burrow. – Actually Phil reportedly was a Donald Trump supporter. The groundhog believes that furry thing that lives on the Donald’s head just might be a relative. – Susan G. Komen for [...]
Pre Pre Big Game Show.
February 1, 2012Technicially, if you’re not an official sponsor, you’re not allowed to use the words “Super Bowl.” Yeah, hate to put a non-profit like the NFL at risk of losing money. – Madonna says there will be “no nipple” in her Super Bowl halftime show. Not to say the former Material Girl is getting up there [...]
