Rick Santorum is trying to explain his 2008 statement that ““Satan has his sights on the United States of America!” Stay tuned, maybe he’ll say he’s dyslexic and was talking about Santa. – Albert Pujols is objecting to billboards as part of the Angels marketing campaign that refer to him “El Hombre,” Pujols has asked [...]
Archive for the ‘baseball jokes’ category
Ho, ho, ho?
February 23, 2012From Moneyball to Mannyball.
February 21, 2012Yes, it’s true, Manny Ramirez has signed a minor league with the As?!! Stay tuned for “Mannyball.” Wonder if this will be a comedy or a tragedy? Or both? – With Manny Ramirez back in baseball with the A’s, are some sports fans going from Linsanity to Manny-ic Depression? – Fox pundit Liz Trotta has [...]
America’s game
February 4, 2012Your tax dollars at work: 35% of people who attend the Super Bowl write it off as a corporate expense. – Wonder which team Mitt Romney has picked for his $10,000 bet on the Super Bowl? – Newt Gingrich’s latest rant Friday was against the New York City “elites.” Well, at least that leaves out [...]
Happy Groundhog Day
February 2, 2012Punxsutawney Phil woke up early this morning, saw Newt Gingrich and Mitt Romney going at it, and immediately buried himself back in his burrow. – Actually Phil reportedly was a Donald Trump supporter. The groundhog believes that furry thing that lives on the Donald’s head just might be a relative. – Susan G. Komen for [...]
Pre Pre Big Game Show.
February 1, 2012Technicially, if you’re not an official sponsor, you’re not allowed to use the words “Super Bowl.” Yeah, hate to put a non-profit like the NFL at risk of losing money. – Madonna says there will be “no nipple” in her Super Bowl halftime show. Not to say the former Material Girl is getting up there [...]
What’s in a name?
January 31, 2012Newt Gingrich calls Mitt Romney a “liar.” Romney calls Gingrich a “loser.” How long until we graduate to “booger-face” and “poo-poo head?” – The story of Mitt Romney putting his dog in a crate on the roof while driving to a family vacation is increasingly getting media attention. Suppose it is probably a good thing [...]
Flor-i-duh Follies.
January 29, 2012Amazing that of the two leading GOP presidential contenders now, the Mormon is the one with only one wife. – Several injuries were reported at a casino construction site in Cincinnati. when a floor fell into a V shape Friday and sent workers crashing to the ground. It was one of the more noteworthy collapses [...]
Where’s FEMA when you need them?
January 28, 2012This just in: Penn State campus police say they are investigating a report that Joe Paterno may be sick. – Mitt Romney was campaigning in Orlando today. It went well except for one awkward moment when a Disney employee saw him and reported that one of their audio-animatronic figures must have gotten loose. – Apple’s [...]
Random access.
January 27, 2012During tonight’s debate, Newt Gingrich gushed over Callista, that she was artistic and “played the French horn.” Was he saying she’s musical, or was that a euphemism for her talents that convinced him to make her his third wife? – Not voting for Ron Paul. But kudos to him for the best debate line of [...]
Fantasyland?
January 26, 2012While campaigning in Florida, GOP presidential candidate Mitt Romney said that Barack Obama’s SOTU address was “detached from reality.” Only in America can a man who makes $10,000 bets in a debate, and talks about being unemployed while making $21 million a year, accuse someone else about being “detached from reality.” – In Florida, Newt [...]
Winning?
January 24, 2012Mitt Romney says Gingrich is “erratic,” Newt Gingrich says Romney “can’t be trusted.” Who’s winning? President Obama. – Costa and their so-to-be-ex Captain are going at each other hot and heavy in the media as to assigning blame for the crash and sinking of the Concordia. Will the famous term for buck-passing be updated to [...]
He was, Penn State.
January 23, 2012R.I.P. Joe Paterno – For his sake it was a shame the cancer didn’t kill him six months earlier. And remembering this Edmund Burke quote -”All that is necessary for evil to triumph is for good men to do nothing.” – The cancer killed Paterno so quickly, you have to wonder, was part of the [...]
What’s in a name?
January 21, 2012The Cleveland Indians pitcher formerly known as Fausto Carmona apologized for lying about his name and his age. After Leo Nunez of the Marlins was caught doing the same thing. If they are ever traded for each other it could be the first trade solely involving two players to be named later. – Brilliant analysis [...]
Slip sliding away….
January 19, 2012(The Carnival- Costa theme song?) – Poor Joe Biden. All these reported GOP speaking gaffes must have him missing the spotlight. Or at least that’s one explanation why he told San Francisco Democrats in a private fundraiser today that “the Giants are on their way to the Super Bowl. – Actually posted this on Facebook [...]
Cha-cha-cha changes…..
January 18, 2012Last week Jon Huntsman called Mitt Romney “unelectable” and “out-of-touch.” This week he endorsed him for President. I know Jon’s a Mormon but he changed his estimation faster than a man at a singles bar at closing time. – Passengers on a BA Miami to London flight were awakened at 300am by an automated message [...]
God calling?
January 6, 2012All these candidates, Michele Bachmann, Rick Perry, Herman Cain, etc who said God told them to run. Is it possible that God just really wants to make sure Barack Obama gets re-elected? – Or maybe God just needs a new cellphone plan? – But really, Michele Bachmann, Rick Perry and Herman Cain all actually said [...]
Bowl weak?
December 8, 2011ESPN is running advertisements for “Capitol One Bowl Week: December 17 – January 2. Wonder which SEC graduate came up with that one? – And they wonder why football players are bad at math. – From my comedy writer friend Jerry Perisho: “I’d love to hear the voice message Alec Baldwin left on American Airlines’ [...]
Bowled over?
December 5, 2011In a college football season, only one team stays undefeated all year, after beating their rival by 3 points. And that rival ends up with only the one loss. And so since it’s that close, why not a rematch in the national championship? Well, except when it was Ohio State beating Michigan 42-39 in 2006 [...]
Happy Thankful for Turkeys Day.
November 24, 2011And on that subject, I think I can join comedy writers all over the world… If the Republican primary was being dominated by an intelligent, reasonable, likable man (like Jon Huntsman), well, we might all be better off in the long run. But it would be a more a boring world. – Bad weather across [...]
