A really tough search.

A GOP lobbyist says he is preparing legislation to prevent gay players from joining the NFL. Jack Burkman says “If the NFL has no morals and no values then the Congress must find values for it.” Thinking that in Washington putting CONGRESS in charge of morals and finding values has less of a chance than Diogenes finding his honest man .

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Steve Elkington, (Who? Yeah, he won the PGA in 1995) tweeted a homophobic joke about Michael Sam. Right, because we all know when it comes to tough male athletes, we think of golfers first.

 

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So Secretary of Defense Chuck Hagel has announced major cuts in the military budget, to just under $500 billion. Oh, the horror. Now the U.S. will only spend as much as the next seven countries beneath us combined….

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Knicks PG Raymond Felton was arrested this morning three counts of criminal possession of a weapon. Well, we knew even the Nets’ signing of Jason Collins couldn’t mean Brooklyn had the New York NBA headlines for long.

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#RaymondFelton has a court date of June 2. The NBA finals start June 5. So fortunately his arrest won’t affect this year’s #Knicks

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Bachelorette season 8 winner Jef Holm told Us Weekly that Juan Pablo is “by far the sleaziest Bachelor.” Isn’t that statement kind of redundant?

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One reason to watch the Bachelor: A few hours of these folks make all the people in your real life seem so much saner and more normal by comparison.

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A Sonoma County man has been sentenced to six years in prison after his eighth DUI. Part of California’s 8 strikes and you’re out policy?

 

Ozzie Smith is leading a petition campaign to make MLB Opening Day a national holiday. With 100,000 signatures it would mean the Obama adminstation has to respond. Maybe Ozzie would have better luck if he made the petition say “create a holiday, and deport Bieber while you’re at it.”

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The Washington Redskins posted a YouTube video congratulating Dale Earnhardt Jr. on his Daytona 500 win. Guess this is the closest the team thinks they will get to any kind of a championship.

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Johan Santana threw for seven MLB scouts in Florida, and topped out at 81 mph. Maybe it wasn’t a great idea to get coaching on his fastball from Jamie Moyer?

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Apparently Arizona Governor Jan Brewer will actually veto the anti-gay bill that would allow businesses not to serve customers based on religious beliefs. No doubt she has million$ of rea$on$ for her deci$ion.

 

My comedy writing friend Jerry Perisho asks “Could we lock Aaron Hernandez up with OJ Simpson?” I’m wondering if we could just lock him up for a little while with those douchebags who attacked Bryan Stow?

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4 Comments on “A really tough search.”

  1. David Schwartz Says:

    So glad to see Jack Burkman is committed to the GOP ideal of government not telling people how to live their lives or run their business.

  2. tc in bc Says:

    76 year old Richard Petty says he will race Danica Patrick head to head with one condition. His car has to be equipped with OnStar turn by turn navigation.

  3. marc ragovin Says:

    One day after being charged with illegal gun possession, Raymond Felton of the NY Knicks briefly addressed the matter with reporters, then shifted the discussion to the team’s playoff push. Ahhh, so I see he’s laying the groundwork for an insanity defense.


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