Archive for November 21, 2012

Turkey eve.

November 21, 2012

Really? A recent study indicates that 70% of teens have concealed their online behavior from parents. Uh, don’t at least 70% of teens regularly conceal most things from parents?

 

 

So in future will proof of age be required to purchase a “Tickle Me Elmo?”

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Tacky alert: Two of this year’s new Sesame Street toys are “LOL Elmo” and “Let’s Rock! Elmo.” Will they now be known as “OMG Elmo” and “Let’s Get Your Rocks Off! Elmo?”

 

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A woman is recovering after being shot in the leg Tuesday night during an argument with another shopper in a supermarket near Los Angeles. Wow. Black Friday just starts earlier every year.

 

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From my funny friend Alex Kaseberg:

AAA declares today the busiest traveling day; and, due to dealing with relatives, AA declares Thursday the busiest drinking day.

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ESPN got a 12 year contract for the new college football playoff starting after the 2014 season. So for fans tired of East Coast Bias, we can now look forward to East Coast + SEC Bias.

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Where do you go when you lose an election? Mitt Romney was seen with his grandchildren at Disney World yesterday. (Good for him. But I blame Obama.)

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The SF 49ers’ Colin Kaepernick said after Monday’s game “I don’t want there to be a (QB) controversy.” And the Chicago Bears responded, “Well, heck, you could have taken care of that with a few interceptions.”

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So much for bipartisan anything. Here’s PETA to President Obama on his Thanksgiving pardon:. “Turkeys do not need to be ‘pardoned’-they are not guilty of anything other than being born into a world of prejudice. They are innocents who should be respected for who they are: good mothers, smart birds, and interesting animals.”

 

 

The Florida Marlins’ current 2013 opening day payroll?  $36 million.  To put that in perspective, that makes the Oakland A’s ($59 million) look like big spenders.

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For further perspective, A-Rod’s one year 2013 salary-  $30 million. Although A-Rod and the Marlins have something in common. Neither are relevant in October.

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For General Petraeus, it could be worse. In Vienna, a woman confessed in court to shooting, sawing up and freezing both her ex-husband and her lover, and then burying them under her store in 2008 and 2010, and then burying them in the basement.  (She was extradited from Italy for the trial after workers installing pipes found some body parts, and is currently pregnant by ANOTHER man.)

Not so full disclosure?

November 21, 2012

San Francisco just voted to ban public nudity. Can they work on Spandex next?

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And in the “You can’t make this ‘stuff’ up,  department”,  the San Francisco Supervisor who originally proposed the public nudity ban?  Scott Wiener.

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USC redshirt freshman quarterback Max Wittek is making his first start Sat. against #1 Notre Dame. And said today “I’m gonna go out there, I’m gonna play within myself, within the system, and we’re gonna win this ballgame.” Well he may be young, but if nothing else, Wittek’s cocky enough to be a true Trojan.

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So as a result of a Twitter challenge, Cory Booker and one of his “followers” may both try to live on food stamps for a week. Actually, if a New Jersey leader should attempt to live on a restricted diet, shouldn’t it be Chris Christie?

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And for all those who wondered, where’s the missing piece in this sleazy saga…. Natalie Khawam (the twin sister of Jill Kelley, who was the woman General Petraeus’s mistress threatened in emails), just held a press conference with her new attorney, Gloria Allred.

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Hostess said today they failed to reach an agreement in mediation with their union and will continue their liquidation proceedings. So guess all those Ebay Twinkie auctions are back on.

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Now it makes sense: According to ESPN, Rutgers should receive about $24 million a year as part of the Big Ten, compared to $6 million football members of the Big East got last year. In return, the Big Ten gets a member in the largest media market in the country… I guess geography matters after all.

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Plaxico Burress is back with the Steelers.   Apparently Pittsburgh decided to take a shot at it.

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Some Ohio State fans apparently have started a petition asking President Obama to revoke their probation and 2012 Bowl Ban. Who do they think they are? An SEC team?

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Meanwhile, Maryland is heading to the Big Ten. In nearby Washington, fans wonder if they could take the Wizards with them.

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Guessing those “Tickle Me Elmo” dolls aren’t going to be such a hot seller this Christmas.

(Or will they be stocked in “adult boutiques”?)

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Cal AD Sandy Barbour on the firing of football coach Jeff Tedford. “This was an extraordinarily difficult decision, one that required a thorough and thoughtful analysis of a complex set of factors.” Wow, and Barbour said it with a straight face.


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