Independence day?

Posted March 22, 2010 by left coast sports babe
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Since this is a country founded on the principle of independence, I would just hope that all the congressmen and women who voted against today’s healthcare bill please show THEIR independence by resigning their government-paid healthcare?

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Cornell enters the Sweet Sixteen as one of the biggest surprises, and probably without a lot of money bet on them in Vegas?

Because after all, anyone smart enough to have graduated from Cornell was also probably smart enough not to have bet on them.

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On the other hand, think about the fans Cornell has picked up in Chicago. It’s the first time in recent memory they have heard “possible championship” and “Ivy” mentioned in the same sentence.

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Twelve seed Cornell routed the fourth seeded Badgers 87 to 69. For Wisconsin sports fans this just solidifies 4 as the currently most unpopular current number in the state.
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There will actually be a special tournament set up next week in Vegas for gamblers whose NCAA brackets i are in decent shape. The game, of course – “Liar’s Dice.”

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All the upsets in the tournament so far means a lot of fans will be going into April without much hope. Does this make them all honorary Nationals fans?

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At one point during his ESPN interview, Tiger Woods said of his repeated affairs – “I tried to stop and I couldn’t stop. And it was just, it was horrific.” Ladies and gentlemen, I think we’ve just found the new U.S. spokesman for Toyota.

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Tiger Woods confessed to being “a little nervous” about the reception he will get at this year’s Masters. And his fellow golfers said, “Hey, no worries, why don’t you relax and take a little extra time out of the spotlight with your family?”

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From Bill Littlejohn: Foreclosure proceedings have begun on the residence of the Octomom. She reportedly is in negotiations for a cheaper shoe.

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And finally, for any blog reader trying to win a bar bet this week- try this question – who are the only men’s teams to advance to the Sweet Sixteen for each of the past three years?

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Answer, Michigan State and Xavier.

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Brackets – flat out broke and busted…

Posted March 21, 2010 by left coast sports babe
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Obama’s speech to congressional Democrats today is already being considered one of the best of his presidency. Who’d a thunk yesterday that the President’s healthcare plan would be looking better than his brackets? (Obama picked Kansas to win it all.)

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Lots of headlines about the Northern Iowa upset of Kansas, calling it the biggest “underdog” victory of the year. Since Northern Iowa is the Panthers , shouldn’t they have been “undercats?”

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The Panthers’ upset certainly ranks as one of the earthshaking events to ever happen to Kansas. And in this case there wasn’t even a witch and flying house involved.

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The Washington Nationals sent star prospect Stephen Strasburg to their double AA afflilate in Harrisburg. Some say it had to do with money and delaying his eligibility for arbitration. But it might be simply that they wanted him to have experience with a team that could actually win a few games.

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Tim Tebow will work out for the Washington Redskins this weekend. Thereby providing more ammunition for those who admire his college performance, but say he will never play quarterback for a professional team.

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As we move into late March there are more and more signs that the major league baseball regular season is starting soon – the weather is getting warmer, rosters are getting smaller, and Kerry Wood is injured again.

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from Alex Kaseberg:
A study in the journal “Neurobiology of Aging” revealed there is memory loss between the age of 40 and 50. Not only that, but there is memory loss between the age of 40 and 50.

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The first weekend of Madness.

Posted March 20, 2010 by left coast sports babe
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Heady times in Northern California. In the NCAA tournament The Cal Bears beat Louisville, and St Mary’s knocked off Richmond.

But then there’s always the reality check known as the Golden State Warriors. Who managed to lose to San Antonio 147 to 116.

Actually Cal and Washington both advanced. As someone who has watched some pretty abysmal Pac 10 games this year I have to wonder…maybe it’s not that the conference was better than most of us thought, but that the rest of men’s college basketball was worse than than we thought.

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Not to say March Madness loyalties are shallow. But wondering – of all those “fans” bemoaning Temple’s first round loss at the hands of Cornell, how many of them could find Temple on a map?

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Now, over in our nation’s capital, fans are still recovering from Georgetown’s 14 point loss, as the 3rd seed, to 14th rated Old Dominion. Its the worst performance Washington basketball fans can remember, well, at least since the last Wizards game.

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How bad are the Washington Wizards? They may change their name to the Washington Generals.

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In fact, between Georgetown’s early exit and the Wizards’ ninth loss in a row, the best recent basketball performance in DC may belong to President Obama with his bracket picks.

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Jihad Jane”s mom said her daughter was just “lonely” and wanted somebody to love. Does this mean maybe the U.S. should start promoting the Humane Society and their shelters as anti-terrorist organizations?

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A new non-profit organization called “Reboot’ is trying to encourage people to take a 24 hour holiday next weekend from technology, no cellphones, computers, etc. And of course, the company is trying to spread the idea via sites like Facebook.

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American Idol has announced that following the “Rolling Stones” show, next week’s show’s focus will be “Teen Idols.” Of course, what most of the young contestants don’t know – the Rolling Stones WERE “Teen Idols.”

And when the band started…. Mick Jagger was all of 19 himself.

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An actual serious thought:

On the Ellen Degeneres show, Constance McMillen, who wanted to bring her girlfriend to her Mississippi prom received a $30,000 scholarship from the website Tonic.Com. Now it would be great to see some company step up to fund an alternative “non-prom” for the young women, and the other students who got their prom cancelled.

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and finally from my funny friend Jim Barach.

Porsche has taken the top spot in the J.D. Power dependability study. The study won’t be officially completed until the Toyota stops racing uncontrollably around the course.

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Busted brackets…

Posted March 19, 2010 by left coast sports babe
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How bad a day was it for sports fans who had Big East teams going deep into the tournament? Some of them are so upset that tomorrow they might actually use their office computers for work.

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Three teams (Georgetown, Marquette and Notre Dame) upset in the first round, and Villanova barely escaped. Who knew that in the NCAA tournament the Big East would suddenly become the Big Easy?

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And now we really know St. Patrick’s Day is over. The first NCAA tournament upset was Old Dominion over Notre Dame. So much for the luck of the Irish.

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And here most Irish fans thought the worst thing that would happen to them today was a St Patty’s hangover.

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The Chicago Cubs are considering putting up the first sponsored sign at Wrigley Field – a Toyota logo over the left field bleachers. But do Toyota and the team really have that much in common? After all, you can stop the Cubs.

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From my very talented and funny friend Jerry Perisho:

This is one of those rare moments in history when mortgage rates and Congress’s approval ratings both hover around 5%.

(and my rejoinder – the difference is that we can actually expect Congress’s ratings might go lower.)

Ideas for getting those census forms back…

So the U.S. Government is spending over $11 billion on their latest census. And for all that they are worried about getting people to reply.

Can I suggest a few simple answers?

Get the census form returned by this weekend along with a filled out bracket and be entered in a March Madness prize pool.

Forget needing to do the work of brackets. Have a Publisher’s Clearing House type contest with winners drawn from respondents.

Give respondents extra votes for American Idol.

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Post St. Patty’s toast…

Posted March 18, 2010 by left coast sports babe
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Still in the Irish spirit, here’s a toast…

“May your troubles last as long as your perfect March Madness brackets.”

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Serious thought – yes, I have them occasionally – on the eve of March Madness. Want to raise the abysmal graduation rates for NCAA D1 basketball? Tie scholarships to the number of previous year’s graduations.

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Not sure if the Texas Rangers have finalized the advertising signs this year for their Rangers Ballpark in Arlington. But I think it’s a safe bet we won’t be seeing ‘Things go better with Coke.

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Secretary of Education Arne Duncan has suggested NCAA teams be banned from post season play unless they have at least a 40 percent player graduation rate. And student-athletes from many top seeded teams are complaining “No fair, that’s well over half.”

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The Washington Nationals, 0-11 in Spring Training, and with the worst record in baseball last year, have indicated they probably want phenom Stephen Strasburg to start the season with a AAA team. No word on if that team will be the Syracuse Chiefs or the Nationals themselves.

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First round NCAA men’s basketball stats: Louisville – 38% graduation rate. Cal – that academic powerhouse – 20% graduation rate.

(yes, this blog does have an occasional Stanford bias.)

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So Barack Obama may have secured Dennis Kucinich’s vote on healthcare by taking him for a ride on Air Force One. Which was a more positive methodology than Obamas original idea – threatening to send him to ride on Amtrak with Joe Biden.

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Thieves apparently broke into an Eli Lilly warehouse in Connecticut and stole over $70 million worth of drugs. Wow. At today’s retail prices that’s medication for at least a dozen people for a year.

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Orly Taitz is a leader of the “birther movement,” and has filed many lawsuits claiming President Obama was not born in the United States. Now she is running in the California Republican primary for Secretary of State. Wonder if Orly has to declare her birthplace in the filing papers? It would be nice to know her home planet.

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St. Patrick’s Day…

Posted March 17, 2010 by left coast sports babe
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Where single men go out and pretend they are Irish, while also pretending that they don’t normally drink that much. Plus, since it’s March Madness, many of them will claim they know more about basketball than simply filling out random brackets. And then most of them will complain that “women don’t understand the real me.”

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So with all of these scandals, there’s one imperfect politician whose image might be looking a little better now… Bill Clinton.

Actually, in all seriousness Bill doesn’t look so bad anymore. A little garden variety tomcatting, no soul mates, no trips to argentina, no high priced prostitutes and no tickle parties. And no babies. As far as we know.

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Fascination-repulsion reaction to Rielle Hunter’s interview. Who would have thought Bill Clinton would turn out to been a better husband than John Edwards?
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ABBA was just inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. If Elvis wasn’t dead, this just killed him.

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Someone stole a truck in Benicia, California, containing over 1100 cases of wine, valued at $50,000. That’s $45 a case, less than $4 a bottle. Guess the police aren’t looking for wine snobs.

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From Ben Burnett:

A Montreal man the FBI once called Canada’s biggest movie pirate will be sentenced on Tuesday for illegally distributing copyrighted material on the internet…..the harshest part of his sentence calls for “Hannah Montana: The Movie” to be played on a loop in his cell.

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Definition of eternity – Brett Favre trying to finalize his NCAA tournament brackets.

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Inspired by a joke from Paul Seaburn – John McCain and Sarah Palin will be campaigning together in Arizona for the first time since the Presidential election. McCain was worried at first, but now has a plan to make sure Palin doesn’t say anything embarrassing. Before they hit the campaign trail, he’s going to make her wash her hands.

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Tiger Woods said he is returning to golf at the Masters next months. That’s fantastic news said CBS, all their advertisers, and absolutely none of the other golfers who have qualified for the tournament.

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I can see the headlines now if Woods has a decent first round “Tiger still knows how to put it in the hole.”

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Longshot bets.

Posted March 16, 2010 by left coast sports babe
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Meg Whitman and Steve Poizner had their first debate Monday night, in front of an organization of Republican donors who pay a $10,000 annual membership fee. Or as the GOP calls them “the middle class.”

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David Beckham had successful tendon surgery which means there is a chance, a very slim chance, but a chance that the soccer star could play in the World Cup. English fans in particular just hope the 34 year old can still “Mend it like Beckham.”
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“Spring forward, fall back.” Isn’t that how Cubs fans would describe their expectations for their team every year?

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The last known wild wolverine in the state of Michigan was found dead this weekend, apparently of natural causes. Wonder if it’s related to the fact we don’t see Wolverines in the Rose Bowl any more either.

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As healthcare reform inches closer to passage, and Limbaugh considers relocation, I can’t wait until Rush realizes one thing – Costa Rica has socialized healthcare.

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There must be days when President Obama wonders if it could get any worse. On the constant bright side, however, is the fact that he didn’t choose John Edwards as his vice president.

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You have to love Rielle Hunter, John Edward’s “baby mama.” She states in a GQ interview that Edwards’ decision to run for president in 2008 was “reckless.” Presumably as opposed to his decision to sleep with her “a few hours’ after they first met.

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But okay, while you readers might be fillling out brackets… who would have bet on Bill and Hillary Clinton staying married longer than John and Elizabeth Edwards?

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The Vatican is denying that its celibacy requirement is a root cause of the latest sex abuse scandal with priests in Europe. Sure, when a non-negotiable part of a job description is that you can never marry or even have a adult sexual relationship, there’s no chance that would attract men with….issues.

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Not-so-happy hour…

Posted March 15, 2010 by left coast sports babe
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That’s how NCAA bubble teams felt about selection Sunday when they found out their names weren’t on the list.

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But really, for teams like Illinois, Mississippi State, Virginia Tech, etc., I have two comments:

First, realistically the last teams in are the first teams out. So it’s not like the committee deprived any of these schools of a real chance to win the tournament.

And second, unlike in football where colleges routinely get hosed by the BCS, there’s a simple way to avoid being snubbed by the NCAA tournament – WIN MORE GAMES.

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The NCAA is considering expanding their men’s basketball tournament to 96 teams to increase television revenue. Well heck, why not just let all Division 1 teams in and call it March, April and May Madness?

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For the women’s tournament, anyone else want to just see Stanford and Connecticut play best out of about ten games and forget the other 62 teams?
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SF Mayor Gavin Newsom, wants to appoint a regular Muni rider to Municipal Transportation Agency’s Board of Directors. Sounds good in theory, but how would that person ever make it on time to meetings.

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As healthcare reform may be getting closer to final passage, wonder if Rush Limbaugh has thought about this while he packs? Costa Rica has a socialized healthcare system.

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Due to an injury, soccer will be missing one of its biggest stars this year in the World Cup. Guess at the age of 34, it’s no longer easy for even David Beckham to “Mend it like Beckham”

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R.I.P Peter Graves. Perhaps the only man in the world who could have gotten away with making pedophile jokes funny – “Joey, do you like movies about gladiators? Joey, have you ever been in a Turkish Prision, Joey have you ever seen a grown man naked?”

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Will Graves’ tombstone read “Captain Oveur, over?”

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Approaching March madness…

Posted March 13, 2010 by left coast sports babe
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In fact, if you are reading this, shouldn’t you be working on your brackets?

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NCAA men’s basketball has been criticized for becoming basically a “one and done” rest stop for players on their way to the NBA. But there have been so many conference tournament upsets, which basically invalidated so many regular season results, that you have to wonder – has college basketball basically become the NBA?

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Carly Fioriana has now compared her Republican primary opponent Tom Campbell to a “demon sheep,” and Democratic senator Barbara Boxer to a giant blimp. Her former employees at HP grudgingly admit, however, that the campaign is a step up from staff meetings – where she referred to her critics as “doo-doo heads.”

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Natalie Randolph, a former player herself, was named head varsity football coach at Calvin Coolidge Senior High School in Washington D.C. This will make her Washington’s highest profile coach of an amateur football team. Well, besides Mike Shanahan of the Redskins.

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Utah’s House majority leader Kevin Garn has resigned. This was only two days after he admitted being nude in a hot tub with a teenage girl 25 years ago. No word on his future plans, though Garn may consult on a movie about the story, filmed by Roman Polanski.

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Matt Stairs, 42, is hoping to make the San Diego Padres roster this year, which will give him the record amongst position players for playing for the most major league baseball teams. 11 – plus the Pittsburgh Pirates.

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Actually, Stairs is so old he can remember when the Pittsburgh Pirates WERE a major league baseball team.

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Ducks in the Soup.

Posted March 13, 2010 by left coast sports babe
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Oregon running back LaMichael James has been sentenced to 10 days in jail for a domestic violence charge. And quarterback Jeremiah Massoli has pled guilty to second-degree burglary. Plus several other Ducks have been involved in “police incidents” this winter, some of them with charges pending. With all the different uniforms the Oregon football team has, maybe it’s time for them to add one with stripes.

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Nike actually manufactures all the uniforms for the University of Oregon teams. So considering the all those incidents and arrests involving the Ducks, plus of course the Tiger Woods story, maybe the company should change their slogan.

How about “Just do it. Just don’t get caught?”

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Actually the problem might be taking that “Just Do It” a little too literally. Another idea. “Just Think Before You Just Do It?”

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From Stanford coach Jim Harbaugh’s point of view this is got to be interesting. Oregon quarterback Jeremiah Massoli has now been suspended for a year after pleading guilty to burglary charges. And USC’s status is still up in the air between the NCAA investigation and the arrival of Lane Kiffin. A few more scandals and Cardiinal could find themselves a frontrunner for the Rose Bowl.

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76 Gasoline is running a commercial about a hypothetical “Ticket Talker,” a phone app that will provide you with a number of excuses for getting out of a speeding ticket. But they forgot the easiest one “Officer, it’s a Toyota.”

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Even though Gavin Newsom is running for lieutenant governor, he still wishes that his name would be on the ballot this fall as the Democratic nominee for governor. You know what, so does Meg Whitman.

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From Bill Littlejohn again: The Amy Winehouse Clothing Collection is coming in the fall.The Personal Property Department at Scotland Yard apologized for the delay

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Utah House majority leader Kevin Garn has admitted that 25 years ago when he was 28, he was naked in a hot tub with a 15-year-old girl, and paid her to keep quiet about it. His fellow Republicans in the state can’t decide whether to be shocked, or just grateful that it was a girl.

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Go Cardinal…

Posted March 12, 2010 by left coast sports babe
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Actually, for the men’s basketball team most of this year it’s been “Go, please go. Far away.” But they have moments…like tonight.

Stanford men’s basketball team, 13-17, faced ASU, 22-9 in the opening game of the Pac 10 tournament, after having been swept by the Sun Devils in the regular season. And the Cardinal won easily 70-61. Two more wins and Stanford gets an NCAA automatic bid. If so, start investing in ski resorts in Hell.

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The “Big Game” between Stanford and Cal-Berkeley has been changed this year from December 4, to November 20, because it conflicted with Stanford’s final exam schedule. Stanford football players said they were relieved. Cal players asked “what are final exams?”

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The San Francisco Giants have gotten off to a 7-1 start this spring. Unfortunately, these Cactus League games are meaningless. Sort of like the NBA regular season.

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While he mulls over long-term options, Conan O’Brien has announced that 30 city stage tour starting in April. The show will be titled “Legally Prohibited from Being Funny on Television.” But hasn’t that phrase already been copyrighted by Saturday Night Live?
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From Bill Littlejohn: With Robert DeNiro playing Vince Lombardi in an ESPN film, you can bet the Packers had a dangerous taxi squad.

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Now that SF Mayor Gavin Newsom has decided – surprise- that he will run for Lieutenant Governor, there is word that one of his harshest critics amongst city supervisors, Chris Daly, may endorse him. Should we be surprised? Daly would do more than that to get Newsom out of San Francisco.
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A conservative small town in Mississippi has cancelled their senior prom, rather than allow one student to attend with her same sex date. Which is a shame on many levels, because with the town’s anti-sex education stance, the girls would at least have meant one couple had no risk of a prom-night pregnancy.

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Commie pinko time.

Senator Majority Leader Harry Reid’s wife and daughter were hospitalized with serious injuries after a car accident. Fortunately the injuries were not life-threatening. Even more fortunately, they have health insurance.

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New York, New York…

Posted March 11, 2010 by left coast sports babe
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More and more staffers keep coming forward regarding alleged groping and harrassment in New York Congressman Rick Massa’s office. If this keeps up future similar incidents may be known as “Massa-bation.”

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At first the allegations against Massa came from only one male staffer. But the additional complaints change things – it is no longer just a “he said he said” situation.

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And okay, how many predicted this? All these sex scandals in New York politics. And Senator Clinton’s husband isn’t a part of any of them.

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Nomar Garciaparra, one of the most beloved players ever at Fenway, signed a one day contract with Boston, so he could retire as a member of the Red Sox. And over in Green Bay, fans are telling Brett Favre, “Don’t even THINK about it.”

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Rush Limbaugh has said he will leave the U.S. for Costa Rica if a health care reform bill passes. In related news, the government of Costa Rica has just made a $1,000,000 donation to the Tea Party movement.

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University of Oregon star quarterback Jeremiah Masoli had a short stint in juvenile hall for his role in a series of robberies in high school when he was 17. Now he has been charged with burglary in Eugene. No wonder the guy has such a good 40 yard dash time – he’s needed it to avoid the cops.

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The charges against Masoli bring the total of arrests and charges against Oregon football players to five since the Rose Bowl, with several other players accused in lesser incidents. If this keeps up, Chip Kelly’s next addition to the team playbook could be memorizing responses to “You have the right to remain silent.”

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The Cincinnati Bengals have signed free agent wide receiver Antonio Bryant, which means they will probably NOT offer a contract to Terrell Owens. Which does answer one question. Yes, there are actually players who are considered too much trouble even for the Bengals.

My friend Alex Kaseberg has a good post today on his blog (www.thordoggie.blogspot.com) about Howard’s Stern’s comments about Gabourie Sidibe’s weight. Fortunately for Gabourie, she has the option of doing something about her weight as she gets older. Whereas Howard Stern is congenitally an a**hole.

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San Francisco Mayor Gavin Newsom who will be term-limited out in 2011, says he hasn’t decided about running for Lieutenant Governor, because if elected he doesn’t want to leave the city in the hands of an interim mayor for the remainder of his term. I guess he figures he did that enough while he was running for Governor.

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Special delivery?

Posted March 10, 2010 by left coast sports babe
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A 32 year old Kentucky woman , who says she didn’t know she was pregnant, successfully delivered her own baby in her laundry room today. Then the new mom even picked her other son up from school before she went with the baby to the hospital.

No, we don’t need sex education in school. Why?

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With “the Hurt Locker,” Kathryn Bigelow became the first woman director to win an Academy Award. This might also be the first time, in speaking of the Iraq War, that we can really talk about a mission accomplished.

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The Los Angeles Lakers beat the Toronto Raptors 109-107 to end a week that featured a three game losing streak. Thereby relieving all their fans who forgot that for the Lakers, the regular season is the equivalent of spring training.

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But how spoiled are Laker fans? Had the losing streak continued a few more games, Kobe Bryant was thinking he would have to buy them all jewelry.

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A Canadian reporter decided to follow up on the thrilling gold medal hockey game by calling random Americans and asking if they were now watching more NHL games. About 10 percent said “yes”, 10 percent said “no,” and 80 percent said “What’s the NHL?”

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The Washington Wizards, 21-38, are having such a hard time attracting fans that they have joined with Dunkin Donuts shops in the DC area for an amazing new promotion: Buy five cups of coffee and you get two free Wizards tickets. Even better, when you buy that much coffee, you’ll be peeing enough that you won’t have to see most of the game.
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Starbucks has decided not to get involved in the “Open Carry” debate, and thus will not ban customers lawfully bringing guns into their stores. In the meantime, the chain has introducted a new larger sized 31 ounce coffee called the “Trenta. Weapons and triple expressos? What could possibly go wrong?

Many Californians still find it unbelievable that Ray Ashburn not only voted against gay rights but is still defending those votes, even after admitting he is a gay man. But on the other hand, I believe Phyllis Schlafly has admitted she is a woman.

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Another thought on Ray Ashburn being a gay man and voting against gay rights? Maybe he was following the lead of Robert Ensign and Mark Sanford who both supported DOMA? (Defense of Marriage Act)
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Recent polls show a surprising number of New Yorkers want embattled governor David Paterson not to resign but to finish his term. Of course, most of those supporters are aspiring comedy writers.

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Vladimir Guerrero, playing now for the Texas Rangers when the Angels declined to re-sign him, says he feels he is still a productive player. And I believe him. Because if Vlad was on an unstoppable downhill slide he would have finally been signed by the SF Giants.

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Great Benjamin Franklin quote found by my friend Ray Di Fazio. “We are all born ignorant, but one must work hard to remain stupid.” Which means that the hardest working woman in America is probably Sarah Palin.”

Elinor Burker, who interrupted her fellow director’s Oscar acceptance speech Sunday night now, says SHE was the one who was wronged because he should have let her do all the talking.

Even Kanye West says she is over the top.

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The Hurt Locker and beyond….

Posted March 9, 2010 by left coast sports babe
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This year’s best picture winner, “The Hurt Locker” took in only $14 million at the box office. Which I think might be less than taking your family to a game in seats behind home plate at Yankee Stadium.

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“The Hurt Locker” took in only $14 million at the box office. Which could mean that more people voted for the movie than actually saw it.

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In an effort to increase box-office receipts, there’s a rumor a sequel to the movie may feature some of the original cast along with Barbra Streisand and Robert De Niro – working title “The Hurt Fockers.”
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While giving a speech in Calgary, Sarah Palin said that when she was growing up – “We used to hustle over the border for health care we received in Canada. And I think now, isn’t that ironic?” “Ironic?” Not so much. “Hypocritical as hell?” Yes.

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ABC and Cablevision settled their disagreement 13 minutes into the Oscars, meaning that Cablevision users got to see almost all the awards show, except for the opening song and dance number, and Steve Martin and Alec Baldwin’s monologue.

But after some discussion, Cablevision decided not to charge customers extra for the omission.

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In related news, fans in the greater New York area have asked that any future disputes Cablevision has end up being resolved in a way that blacks out the Knicks.

The Hurt Locker” may have won best picture. In Chicago, however, most people still probably think the title refers to the clubhouse space that gets punched by Ozzie Guillen during his regular tantrums.

Not to be confused with the space that used to belong to Frank Thomas – “The Big Hurt Locker.”

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Republican California State Senator Roy Ashburn was arrested for a DUI Saturday after leaving a Sacramento gay bar with a male companion. Ashburn then actually came out Monday and admitted he was gay.

The senator did say, however, that he felt his anti-gay votes had been appropriate, because they simply “reflected his constituents’ wishes.” Yo Roy, your constituents also have wished for increased state services that they didn’t have to pay for with state taxes… Hmm, maybe I’m seeing how California got in this budget mess.

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After his admission, Ashburn declined to discuss details of his personal life or his previous votes. You almost expected to hear him say “Well, that was in the past.”

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As much as I would like to on this subject I will refrain from making a joke with the punchline… “But he claims he didn’t inhale.”

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United Airlines says last month’s winter storms along the East Coast cost it $40 million in revenue. You know what that means – coming soon to your next airline ticket purchase – a “snow surcharge.”

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Meg Whitman and Steve Poizner seem to be stopping at nothing in their quest to re-invent themselves as born-again Conservatives to appeal as much as possible to Republican primary voters. Well, at least Californians know that neither of them will attempt to court conservatives by driving on a Nascar track. At this point, both of them seem categorically unable even to hint at turning to the left.

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And the award goes to…

Posted March 8, 2010 by left coast sports babe
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On Oscar night Americans always learn two things- First, the names of the winners of a number of awards. Second, with most most of the attendees wearing outfits that cost at least five figures (before jewelry), that money absolutely cannot buy taste.

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So congrats to Kathryn Bigelow, who won both best director and best picture for “The Hurt Locker.” But really, wonder how many of those votes were for having the good sense to divorce James Cameron?

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(Btw, Oscar commentators this year like to talk about how great it is that “older women” won and how young they look. (Best Director Kathryn Bigelow is 58, Best Actress Sandra Bullock is 45.) So what about older men..?.(Best Actor Jeff Bridges is 61.)

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My very funny and otherwise intelligent friend Rich Lieberman refers to George Clooney as a “giant hemorrhoid.” With all due respect Rich, if Cooney were a hemorrhoid, lack of sales from women would put Preparation H out of business.,

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It’s that time of year again – March Madness. And there’s also the NCAA basketball tournament starting soon, in addition to the usual spring training delusions of Cubs fans about a World Series championship,

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US Airways pilot, Charles “Sully” Sullenberger, 59, has retired from US Airways. Apparently he wanted to spend more time with his grandchildren, instead of being directed by them from the control tower.

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Both GM and Ford have announced recent sales increases. I believe the unofficial title of these successful campaigns is “I love what you do for me, Toyota.”

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Pre Oscar thoughts….

Posted March 7, 2010 by left coast sports babe
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As with every year, while there were some excellent movies and performances nominated, there have also been significant omissions.

For example, in the acting category…why no nominations for…

Mark McGwire – for “I didn’t take steroids to help me hit homeruns.”

Bud Selig, for saying the era of performance-enhancing drugs in baseball is over. (And for taking credit for cleaning it up.)

and a belated award to John Edwards – for renewing his marriage vows on his 30th wedding anniversary, right about the same time he conceived his child with Rielle Hunter.

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Or how about Roy Ashburn, California State Senator from Bakersfield, for his performance as a conservative anti-homosexual Christian. (Senator Ashburn is currently on “personal leave” after being arrested for DUI in Sacramento after leaving a gay club with a male companion.)

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Americans profess to be getting tired of the Tiger Woods story and many are saying they wish he would just go away. Meanwhile, did you hear who was leading this week’s Honda Classic? Yeah, me neither.

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The North Carolina Tarheels capped off their worst regular season in recent memory, losing to Duke 82-50 and finishing 5-11 in the ACC. It’s the most embarrassing story in the state. At least until the next John Edwards sex tape surfaces.

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The head of Tennessee’s hospitality association sent an email to a group of public figures comparing Michelle Obama to Tarzan’s chimpanzee friend “Cheeta.” He said it was a joke. But there were better and smarter targets for the “Cheeta” label. Like Mark Sanford and John Edwards.

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The Razzie for worst picture of the year went to “Transformers – Revenge of the Fallen.” Sounds like a documentary about all the Republicans who used to love big spending and federal subsidies, but transformed into filibustering deficit hawks when a Democrat took back the White House.

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World records beyond the Olympics…

Posted March 6, 2010 by left coast sports babe
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Snuggies were placed on every seat in Cleveland’s arena before the Pistons-Cavaliers game, and fans were asked to put them on. Guinness World Records then certified it as the largest number of people wearing fleece blankets at once. The true uncertified record, however, probably still stands – any Giants-Dodgers night game at Candlestick Park.

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On the other hand:

March marks the beginning of spring break season for many college students, Which basically means going to drink for a week someplace with warm winter weather. Like Vancouver.

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Apparently more than 250 silver coins dating back to the time of Alexander the Great have been discovered. The coins were found in the pockets of several pairs of jeans donated to Goodwill by Brett Favre.

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So what’s a lower number today? The number of Americans who still care about the team’s gold medal hockey loss. Or the number of Canadians who still miss the Expos during spring training.

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Sarah Palin has complained about Levi Johnson’s “quest for attention, fame and fortune’” and says that the media is exploiting her children. This while she is travelling the U.S, appearing regularly on television, and pitching her own reality show. Palin may be able to see Russia from her house but she sure can’t see herself in the mirror.

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Karl Rove says in a new book that Dick Cheney was at first uncomfortable with the idea of being George W. Bush’s running mate. But then Cheney realized, he’d always wanted to be president.

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Rove also denied in his book that Bush “lied us into war?” That, Karl said, was MY idea.
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From Bill Littlejohn:

Senator Jim Bunning, a baseball Hall of Famer, gave a reporter the middle finger this week: “No, it wasn’t being asked again about his decision to block a bill that would extend unemployment benefits. It was being asked again about the 1964 Phillies collapse.’’ .

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Thousands of California students protested cuts in the public university system Thursday in a “Day of Action.” Not to be confused with business as usual in Sacramento, which was a “Day of Inaction.”

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Sarah, we hardly knew ye…. Those were the good old days.

Posted March 5, 2010 by left coast sports babe
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Sarah Palin is apparently shopping a proposal around for her own reality television show. This might mark the first time that “Sarah Palin” and “reality” have ever been used in the same sentence.

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The reality show is being pitched as a series of one hour episodes. Which will all abruptly end after 38 minutes.

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Barry Zito hit Prince Fielder today to retaliate for last season’s theatrical home run celebration. The Brewers’ first baseman, however, didn’t charge the mound. Probably because it was Zito’s fastball, and until the umpire told him to take a base, Fielder hadn’t even noticed he’d been hit.

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Brett Favre appeared on the Tonight Show and told Leno he was noncommtal about next year. Funny, that was NBC’s exact stance in long-term negotiations with Jay.

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So Brett Favre told Jay he was undecided about returning next season. Stay tuned tomorrow when the Tonight Show features Adam Lambert telling Leno he is still gay.

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Baylor’s Brittney Griner, who is 6′7″ and can dunk, was ejected from a game and suspended for angrily punching an opponent in the nose. She’s been projected as both an WNBA superstar and a model. Well, I don’t know if she’ll be another Candace Parker, but unfortunately she’s looking like another Naomi Campbell.

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The latest ethics violation charged to embattled New York Governor is that he illegally accepted free tickets to the first game of last year’s World Series. Well, at least that’s one thing that isn’t likely to happen anytime soon to a Governor of Illinois.

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So Democratic New York Governor David Paterson is embroiled in several scandals and Congressman Charles Rangel is facing ethics investigations. Meanwhile, out in California, one of the state’s most anti-gay rights conservative senators – Republican Roy Ashburn of Bakersfield, was picked up for a DUI in Sacramento. With a male companion after leaving a gay nightclub.

It’s a shame that the one true nonpartisan part of U.S. politics seems to be stupidity.

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Reality shows and unreal news…

Posted March 4, 2010 by left coast sports babe
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Peyton Manning reportedly had surgery to repair a pinched nerve. Actually, many people consider any kind of nerve surgery “karmic,” as for years the quarterback’s commercials have been getting on their last one.

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Charles Rangel, David Paterson, Eliot Spitzer. Just who do they think they are in New York. Chicagoans?

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Cincinnati Bengals wide receiver Chad Ochocinco has signed up to be a contestant on the upcoming season of “Dancing With the Stars.” And “No Fun League” commissioner Roger Goddell is no doubt trying to figure out how much the fine is for that.

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So what’s a lower number. The Americans who still care about their gold medal hockey loss? Or the Canadians who still miss the Expos during spring training?

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Some people think that the FAA over-reacted by suspending an air traffic controller at JFK who brought his son to work, and let the child give a few “routine” instructions to pilots. Sorry, I think “Air traffic control,” and “no harm, no foul” are two phrases that should NEVER be used in the same sentence.

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US Air hero Charles “Sully” Sullenberg has retired at the age of 59. He said you know it’s time when you feel like you are working with children. Of course, the last time he flew out of JFK, he probably was.

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Indeed, bringing your son into the office, while seemingly harmless, can have unfortunate long-term consequences, as it can give the child dangerous ideas. No doubt George H.W. Bush had no malice aforethought when he first had W. visit him at the White House.

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Jake Pavelka, aka “the Bachelor,” is now also going to be a contestant on “Dancing with the Stars.” And this guy is supposed to be a commercial pilot with American Airlines. Seems like he spends less time actually flying the planes than any pilot not with Northwest.

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Texas Governor Rick Perry won his Republican primary, after campaigning heavily on the fact that he is now turning down federal subsidies for the state. This from a man who campaigned for and took billions of such subsidies until 2008. So if his conversion is that sincere, i have a suggestion – give the earlier money back

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Perry has also talked about, without dismissing, the possibility of Texas someday seceding from the United States. Wonder how long it would then take them to apply for foreign aid.

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From medals to bubbles….

Posted March 3, 2010 by left coast sports babe
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How fickle are sports fans? In America the only numbers that matter have gone from US medal count of 37 to figuring out 64-65 teams in brackets.

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Canada is still celebrating their gold medal in hockey. American sorrow and depression over the loss can be summed up in one word – “whatever.”
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The San Jose Sharks were back in action today, with eight of their players who had played on various Olympic teams. They lost 4-3 at to the New Jersey Devils. Looks like the team’s already in post-season form.
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There is some talk of the NCAA expanding the men’s basketball tournament to 96 teams. As if American worker productivity in March wasn’t bad enough already.

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Mark McGwire’s brother Jay, says that writing his tell-all book was “cathartic.’ The same word that has been used by Agassi and others. Just a thought, if it’s the act of confessing onto paper that’s so important, haven’t any of these people considered a private diary?

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Alex Kaseberg asks…” does anybody in the entire beautiful country actually know all the words to “Oh, Canada.? I would venture to add, a higher percentage than that of Americans who can actually hit all the notes in “The Star Spangled Banner.”

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Senator Jim Bunning, who is retiring after this term, has been holding up unemployment benefits until Congress decides how to pay for them. I hope someday he applies the same standard to his own Senate pension.

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And we wonder how Americans get the reputation for being both insensitive and clueless. Yesterday in our travel office, someone called up, no joke, and wanted to know if Hawaii would be offering discounts because of the tsunami.

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Sarah Palin appeared on Tuesday night’s Tonight Show with Jay Leno. Actually Palin and Leno have something in common. Both left their main jobs last year. But in Leno’s case there were actually people who wanted him back.

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Palin actually did a short stand-up comedy routine. But none of the jokes in the routine were as funny as the one she told about Fox News being impartial.

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And then there was Sarah’s comment about getting back to the 5 “W’s. Who’s saying we should pay taxes, what is the purpose of taxes, when can we cut taxes, where does the government get off charging us taxes, and why can’t we just abolish the whole idea of taxes.

(one anonymous person on sfgate.com commented on Palin’s attempts at stand-up comedy “Keep your day job. Oops, wait, you already quit that.”)

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The U.S. Supreme Court on Tuesday refused to block the District of Columbia’s gay marriage law. Proving, if nothing else, that even the conservative members of the court care about the service they get in the capital’s restaurants

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