Provocation?

Posted July 26, 2014 by left coast sports babe
Categories: Uncategorized

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Stephen A. Smith started out today about the Ray Rice situation telling women “Let’s make sure we don’t do anything to provoke wrong actions.” And then in his first apology “What about addressing women on how they can help prevent the obvious wrong being done upon them?” What is with Smith? Does he want to leave ESPN for a job at NFL headquarters.

 

And not that I condone violence, but it would be hard to be too broken up if some random oman hauls off and punches Stephen A. Smith, suggesting that he in future try not to “provoke wrong actions.”

 

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So today the Russian consumer protection agency said they are suing McDonalds for selling foods that contain more fats and carbohydrates than are allowed by national regulations. What’s next, Putin saying the U.S. via McDonald’s has killed more people than the MH17 missile?

(Or maybe it’s just that Putin has a man-crush on Michael Bloomberg.)

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They’re now selling seats from Candlestick Park before the stadium is being torn down. ($749 a pair, with a $50 discount for SFGiants season ticket holders.) Wonder for authenticity if the seats come with a free ice pack?

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Chris Paul has joined Doc Rivers in saying he could boycott the season if Donald Sterling is still in charge. So who knows, maybe there’s a chance the Lakers won’t be the worst NBA team in Los Angeles this year.

 

 

Rough night for SF Giants at A T and T, losing 8-1 on a night when Yasiel Puig got three triples and a double. Maybe the Giants strategy was to have Puig run enough he might pull a hamstring.

Zack Greinke struck  out four SF Giants in one inning.    Atlanta Braves fans were shocked one wasn’t Dan Uggla.

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But, hey, the  Dodgers had an off-day Thursday in San Francisco. #SFGiants were just one day behnd.

 

Johnny Manziel, about his off-field adventures. “At the end of the day,’ Manziel said, ‘I’ve made some rookie mistakes.’ But hey, now training camp has started. So soon Johnny can make some on-field rookie mistakes.

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A recent poll said 65% percent of Americans don’t want President Obama impeached. But 35% do. Leaving politics aside guess this means at least 35% of Americans have never actually read the Constitution.

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Gun rights advocates are touting the “good guy with a gun” case of an armed Philadelphia doctor who wounded a psychiatric patient who allegedly killed his caseworker and was apparently planning a mass shooting. Glad the guy was stopped. But what was a psychiatric patient with a long criminal history doing with a gun and over 40 bullets in the first place?

 

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Drew Brees, 35, says he feels like he’s still 25, and “I could play for another 10 years. And that would be my goal.” The Green Bay Packers are thinking “Damn, nobody tell Brett Favre,”(who’s 44.).

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A Google Shopping Express contract worker was arrested and charged with stealing more than $1000 of merchandise from a Target store while she was buying items for customers.

TThe woman has a criminal history involving possession and sale of meth. But apparently Google subcontracts out the shopping and the subcontractor didn’t do background checks.    Can’t wait to see what fun we could have with subcontracted Amazon drone operators.

 

 

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Priorities.

Posted July 24, 2014 by left coast sports babe
Categories: Uncategorized

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The NFL suspended Ravens RB Ray Rice two games for allegedly knocking his fiancee unconscious during a fight. Well, maybe it’s for the best, if instead of fighting the couple had just mellowed out with a joint he’d have been suspended at least four games.

 

So the NFL is making their policy on unnecessary violence clear: Assault another player in a game because of a paid bounty, you’re out for the year. Assault a woman in a fight because you’re mad at her, you’re out two games. #priorities

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Chuck Knoblauch was scheduled to be inducted into the team’s hall-of-fame in August. But the ceremony was cancelled after the former Twins star was arrested last night for allegedly assaulting his ex-wife. If Knoblauch had played for the Minnesota Vikings would the induction still be on?

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And then in the NFL minor leagues, aka the NCAA, here we go again.  This time it’s two University of Texas football players who’ve been charged with felony sexual assault. Maybe coaches could figure out something radical to keep these guys busy and out of trouble during the offseason. Like actually going to class?

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Georgia dismissed defensive lineman Jonathan Taylor from the team following his arrest on aggravated assault and family violence charges, allegedly for choking and hitting his girlfriend. The sophomore, who started 10 games last year, was previously arrested in March for getting double payments on a check. If and when Taylor eventually declares for the draft, wonder how much of a “distraction” he’ll be considered..

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McDonald’s is apparently sticking with their supplier in China., even after allegations the company processed tainted and expired meat. Maybe because there’s not enough meat in McD’s burgers to worry about?

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U.S. airlines have resumed flights to Tel Aviv. So which is harder to believe. That commercial aircraft were actually in danger for 48 hours? Or that they are suddenly safe again now?

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Giants and Dodgers play this weekend at A T and T Park .  LA  flew into town Wednesday and enjoyed an off-day while SF is playing Thursday and flew home from Philadelphia in the evening. So were the Giants good hosts who gave the Dodgers a list of all the hottest bars with town with all the strongest drinks?

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On one page of the University of Texas Football media guide is a website link “www.texsaSports.com” Spelling. Another of those commie-pinko blue-state concepts.

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Another of those “Darwin, missed it by that much” stories. In Gainesville, FL, an allegedly drunk man drove his truck into another car. Then he angrily got out to bang on the other driver’s window. She drove away. But he hadn’t put his own truck in park, and it then rolled over him. The man will recover and faces DUI and property damage charges. Your move, Arizona.

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#BarryBonds turns 50 today. Maybe the #SFGiants could re-sign him? Guessing Bonds could still hit better than some of their lineup.

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Hershey and Mars have both indicated concern about chocolate sales figures due to recent chocolate price increases because of higher cocoa and dairy costs. Why don’t they take a page from the airlines, and either shrink the candy sizes, or charge a wrapper fee?

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ISIS has apparently.blown up the tomb of Jonah in Mosul, Iraq. Who’d ever thought we’d miss Saddam Hussein?

I’ll be watching you…maybe.

Posted July 23, 2014 by left coast sports babe
Categories: Uncategorized

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So there were NYPD officers working graveyard shifts in four marked cars at the Brooklyn Bridge while the lights were dimmed and white flags were raised Monday night. None of them noticed anything. And the NY Daily news quotes a police source as saying none of them will be disciplined. Well, not like anything really bad could have happened…

 

 

A man claims he was kicked off a Southwest flight in Denver after he tweeted a complaint over a gate agent not allowing his daughters to board early with him. He claims he won’t fly the airline again. Well, and hey, why not, when he can take advantage of the great customer service at Denver from United….

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Mark McGwire says of Jose Canseco. “I don’t care to ever speak to him again.” Well, of course not, Canseco’s in the past.

 

St. Louis CF John Jay tonight struck out on a 4-2 count. That’s bad. What’s worse, no one in the Cardinals dugout, including the manager, noticed it. #whoneedsmath?

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18 runs given up in two days?  All of a sudden #Dodgers pitching is looking like maybe Josh Beckett’s been bringing beer and chicken back into the Clubhouse #sfgiants

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Cameron Maybin has been suspended for 25 games for testing positive for amphetamines. But come on, it’s the San Diego Padres. Couldn’t Maybin have used the excuse he needed the drugs to stay awake?

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Wednesday Alabama coach Nick Saban talked about his team’s loss to Oklahoma in the Sugar Bowl and said it was a challenge to “try to play in a consolation game.” Well, that ought to do wonders for the image of college football players as egotistical babies.

(Also, for the uninitiated, please note. The Sugar Bowl, with a $17 million per team payout, is not a consolation game. Now, the “AdvoCare V100 Bowl” just might be a consolation game….)

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Eagles tackle Lane Johnson is the latest NFL player suspended four games for PED’s. Johnson said in a statement he “mistakenly and foolishly” took a prescription drug in April and failed to clear it with the Eagles’ athletic trainers or check the banned substance list. Just once would be nice to hear someone say, “Yeah, I was cheating and got busted.”

 

Another thought about all these NFL players who plead ignorance when they get caught for PED’s. Wouldn’t you think if they were smart enough to read their playbooks, they’d be smart enough to read the the rules and their drug labels?

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‘What if I decide to run?’: Michele Bachmann saying she might try for Presidency again in 2016. Comedy writers: “Thank you Jesus.”

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You have been warned.  From Alex Kaseberg.  “‘Comic Con’ begins in San Diego on Thursday, so get your computers and internet servers fixed now.”

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So what does Rick Perry have against all these kids? The Texas governor doesn’t want more people in America who can embarrass him by counting to three?

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California’s teen birthrate has fallen 63% since 1990, the biggest drop of any state in the country. Instead of “Abstinence Only” education, California has chosen comprehensive sex education, and increased access for teens to contraceptives. I’m sure it’s just a coincidence.

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From T.C.  ” The #1 selling NFL jersey today is Johnny Manziel. Sitting at #5 is Michael Sam. Neither one of them has yet to play a down in the league. That should be enough to bring Brett Favre out of retirement again.”

Big night time Timmy Jim.

Posted July 22, 2014 by left coast sports babe
Categories: baseball jokes, political jokes, sports jokes, Uncategorized

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Okay Clayton Kershaw.   Tim Lincecum called your no-hitter and just raised you a save. #SFGiants #Dodgers

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If  Tim Lincecum becomes the the #SFGiants closer someday will his entrance music be “Last Dance with Mary Jane?”

SF Giants are undefeated in games that last at least 500 pitches.  (Tonight’s, 507.  14 innings)

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But back to #SFGiants reality.  So far in 2014, five players have played 2nd base for the SF Giants and combined for a .182 average. This statistic is pretty shocking to serious Giants fans. That high?

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“Estimate”, Queen Elizabeth’s filly who won the 2013 Gold Cup at Royal Ascot, has apparently tested positive for dope. This is what they get for letting the horse hang out with Prince Harry.

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Sarah Palin was caught speeding last week and fined $144. So she can see Russia from her house but apparently she can’t see a Wasilla Police Car.

(Jim Barach wonders,  “was she driving a Maverick?”)

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A 105 year old woman threw out the first pitch at a Padres game. Did she credit her ability from sandlot games as a child with Jamie Moyer?

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Two white flags mysteriously appeared in place of American flags on the Brooklyn Bridge Tuesday morning. Police say they have no suspects, but will be interviewing anyone in New York wearing a Cubs cap.

(Marc Ragovin, with a great minds, suggests that authorities should instead be looking for Mets fans.)

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Tony Dungy in damage control mode. “I do not believe Michael Sam’s sexual orientation will be a distraction to his teammates or his organization. I do, however, believe that the media attention that comes with it will be a distraction.”

Right, whereas players Dungy has supported like Vick, Tebow and Manziel, they weren’t and aren’t distractions….

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Meanwhile, the Cleveland Browns say they won’t name their starting QB until at least the 3rd preseason game. Does it make sense for the team in 2014? Maybe. Does it make sense for jersey sales? Absolutely.

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A new book about the Secret Service claims that Bill Clinton has another mistress. Shocking. And wonder how many Americans would re-elect him, bimbos and all, if it weren’t for the 22nd amendment.

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Ocala, Florida, about an hour from Orlando, has banned people from wearing pants that sag two inches below their waist on city property. Offenders will be fined $500 for face jail time. Can Ocala work on spandex next?

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Senior U.S. intelligence officials apparently say they have no evidence of direct Russian government involvement in the shooting down of MH 17.   Uh, did anyone actually think Putin would order something like that? Well, outside maybe of Fox News?

Portrait in lack of courage?

Posted July 21, 2014 by left coast sports babe
Categories: Uncategorized

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Former NFL coach Tony Dungy said he wouldn’t have taken Michael Sam in the draft “Not because I don’t believe (he) should have a chance to play, but I wouldn’t want to deal with all of it. It’s not going to be totally smooth … things will happen.” But Dungy is also the man who does prison ministry, and who mentored Michael Vick while in prison. Somewhere Jesus really is weeping.

 

#RichardSherman‘s celebrity softball game drew over 22,000 to #SafecoField.   That’s only about 1,000 people less than the average Mariners home game.  #nojoke.

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New York Yankees just announced that the “official” game honoring Derek Jeter will be Sept. 7. Did no one in the front office see the All Star game?

 

The SF Giants were down 4-3 in the 4th inning, and the Phillies had runners on 1st and 3rd with no outs. Thinking not even Pete Rose would have bet that Philly was done scoring.

 

 

Box Score #SFGiants 7-15-1, #Phillies 4-14-0. Without watching you know this was not a thing of beauty. But #awinisawin

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#SFGiants have agreed to terms with Dan Uggla. Some concern as to whether he can still hit major league pitching. But hey, the Giants know for sure that some of their current lineup can’t.

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Odrisamer Despaigne came within four outs yesterday of throwing the first no-hitter in San Diego’s 46 year history. And Padres pitchers have the added handicap of not being able to pitch against own team.

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Jameis Winston said in an FSU pre-season press conference that this year he knows he has “to live up to the hype.” And presumably get his seafood from the training table.

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Facebook is adding a new “Facebook Save” feature for people to file interesting “items that you find on Facebook to check out later when you have more time.” “When you have more time?!” Translation for a lot of people, when they’ve retired and Facebook is long gone?

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A volunteer California policewoman was put on leave after she posted an-anti bike video rant on YouTube, including asking a man who much she’d have to pay him to run a cyclist over. The caption “Like you’ve never thought about it.” She has apologized and said it was satire. Fair enough, but for a COP to post it?   Apparently SHE never thought about it.

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Tough times in Washington. President Obama has to decide what actions to take against Russia, And then the GOP has to immediately decide how those actions are wrong.

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It was an American conspiracy to start a war with Russia. …The Ukraine military thought they were shooting down Putin’s plane…. Or MH17 is really MH370, and it took off “full of corpses….”

Even Fox News is bowing to the creativity of some Russian conspiracy theories….

Based not in tranquility

Posted July 20, 2014 by left coast sports babe
Categories: Uncategorized

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Sunday was the 45th anniversary of Apollo 11′s landing on the moon. If it happened on Obama’s watch have to wonder what the Republican reaction would be…. Maybe a Congressional investigation for demonstrating American weakness by not focusing on our enemies on this planet? If the GOP said they believed the footage at all.

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Really? Kim Kardashian and Kanye West have spent $500,000 to hire a baby body double to protect their daughter North from photographers. Guess they don’t want anyone exploiting pictures of the child for money. Except her parents.

 

 

Equal gender opportunity “Crooks are Stupid” item: An Illinois woman posted pictures of herself on Facebook wearing a distinctive new dress. Police investigating a theft from a local boutique promptly arrested her as the dress was one of the items stolen.

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In the summer, the London Zoo has “Zoo Lates” on Friday nights, fund-raising events which feature music and beer tents. Last Friday apparently a man poured beer over a tiger. Sadly as far as fundraising,  the tiger was not able to climb out of its enclosure and reduce the Zoo’s food bill.

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Singapore Airlines is apologizing to people who thought their recent tweet was insensitive. “Customers may wish to note that Singapore Airlines flights are not using Ukraine airspace.” And yes, maybe a tweet wasn’t the way to do it. But have to wonder how many calls airlines are now getting about their Europe to Asia routes.

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Two pigeons made it into Rogers Centre for the Toronto Blue Jays -Texas Rangers game. Had the pigeons been at Marlins Park today, Miami would have no doubt counted them to boost the supposed attendance..

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Bad news for ESPN. Tiger Woods had one of his worst Briish Opens ever. Good news for ESPN. At least most casual golf fans recognized winner Rory McIlroy’s name.

 

(of course, had McIlroy’s breakup with tennis star Caroline Wozniack just  involved a few waitresses and a mid night flight involving police, who knows what the ratings might have been.?)

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The Costa Concordia is upright and will be on its way to Genoa. The Concordia’s interior of the ship is kind of a mess after being underwater for over 2 years. But it would probably be unfair to compare conditions to being aboard a Carnival Cruise ship.

 

 

 

New Zealand’s Jack Bauer almost won a Tour de France stage but was overtaken at the end by Norway’s Alexander Kristoff . Presumably the last minute ending took place at 7:59.37 pm?

 

SNL won the Television Critics Association’s Heritage Award Sunday . “Heritage” as in ancient history for being funny?

 

 

 

Controversy now as New York City approved a new development by the Hudson River where affordable housing tenants will have to enter by a “poor door,” when regular tenants can use the main entrance. So while we’re at it, what about two doors for those paying higher prices, one for those who earned their money, and one for those who inherited it.

Walking the line?

Posted July 20, 2014 by left coast sports babe
Categories: Uncategorized

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The future King of England, Prince George, is upright. Probably more upright than Prince Harry after a night on the town.

Prince George Of Cambridge First Birthday

 

The Chicago Cubs have filed a lawsuit over “Billy Cub”, a fake mascot that allegedly has been engaging in bad behavior outside Wrigley Field. Wonder how long it will take some Cubs season ticket holders to file a lawsuit over bad behavior on the field inside Wrigley.

 

The Mariners and Angels have played two games since the All-Star Break, totaling 28 innings. Note to both teams, the World Cup is over, enough with the stoppage time.

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And if  the MLB season ended today, the Angels and Mariners would be in a one-game wild card playoff. Seattle is 6.5 games behind L.A.(Anaheim.) But if they could start Felix Hernandez, they’d be the favorites to advance. Another “gift” from Bud Selig.

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Giancarlo Stanton takes  Sergio Romo deep to lead off the bottom of the ninth in Miami. “I didn’t see that coming.” Said nobody.

 

In a 5-1 game that became a 5-3 game  #SFGiants manager Bruce Bochy removed Sergio Romo in the ninth after a home run and a double and apparently told Romo that it wasn’t about him finishing the game, but wanted Casilla to get the work. That’s his story and he’s sticking to it.

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Huston Street, after being traded from San Diego to the Angels “I believe in the Padres’ ownership. They want to win and they are not content with status quo. I blame the players for what’s happened here.” Right, all those high-priced superstars that just can’t gell as a team, like so-and-so, and him, and.., can anyone name a Padre? (More than one.)

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Newt Gingrich wrote an op-ed saying that President Obama hides in a fantasy world. Of course, Gingrich’s fantasy is that he’s still relevant.

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Vladimir Putin is retaliating against new sanctions against Russia by denying some Americans visas. Just thinking flying into Russia is not at the top of too many people’s wish lists right now.

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The NY Knicks may sign Metta World Peace again. Not sure if it will help the team. But this is good news for comedy writers.

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Rand Paul, who’s against raising the minimum wage, talked about his son happily delivering pizza,: “The minimum wage is a temporary thing. It’s a chance to get started.” Of course, if you’re the son of a senator, it probably is a way to get started….what about all those other grown-ups still working those jobs?


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