It’s not over….

Posted October 1, 2014 by left coast sports babe
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At least three more games for the SF Giants in 2014. And this picture from 1992. When we thought the SF Giants might start the 1993 season in Tampa.

 

The little boy, for the uninitiated, is Brandon Crawford.

 

brandon

 

Brandon Crawford’s sister is actually dating another MLB player.  A member of the Pittsburgh Pirates. #Thanksgiving  #awkward

 

Liked baseball as a left-handed little kid, fell in love with baseball in the 1968 World Series. Mickey Lolich, 3 complete games. Tonight Madison Bumgarner channeled Lolich. But skinnier. And a better hitter.. ‪#‎leftiesrule‬ ‪#‎SFGiants‬

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ESPN reported that Brandon Crawford’s grand slam was the first ever by a shortstop in the postseason. And speaking of shortstops, will this be the cue for another Derek Jeter retrospective?

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Donald Trump is on another Ebola rampage with the first case in the U.S., tweeting “how dumb was our President to send thousands of poorly trained and ill-equipped soldiers over to West Africa to fight Ebola. Stop all flights.”And saying we must “immediately institute strong travel restrictions or Ebola will be all over the United States-a plague like no other.”

 

Alas, Ebola is far less dangerous for Americans than Donald Trump.

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Have to wonder, how many Americans who are freaking out over ‪#‎Ebola‬ are also anti-vaccine.

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So the man infected with Ebola told an emergency room nurse days before he became REALLY sick, that he’d been in Liberia. And it didn’t set off any alarms. Once again, proving all the precautions in the world ‪#‎cantfixstupid‬.

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So if we really want to contain ‪#‎Ebola‬ can we just quarantine the state of ‪#‎Texas‬? ‪#‎twobirdsonestone‬

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In the Arizona Fall League. baseball will test eliminating actual pitches during intentional walks, with the idea of maybe trying it in the majors. And the ‪#‎SFGIants‬ Pablo Sandoval is thinking, hey, those are hittable pitches.

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Michael Phelps was clocked at 85 MPH when he was arrested. Here’s one way to fix some of these driving issues for athletes: Make the only car they are allowed to drive be a Prius. Those things can’t get up to 85 MPH.

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Tom Brady just said of his team “We don’t have the kind of offense that’s going to perform at a high level.” And Patriots fans are thinking “What was your first clue?”

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Wow. A jury found Michael Dunn guilty of first-degree murder today for the “loud music” 2012 shooting death of 17-year-old Jordan Davis. Not often I type these words, but “Nicely done, Florida.”

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From T.C. “North Korean leader Kim Jong Un has been hospitalized with two broken ankles, apparently from wearing heels and being overweight. When his ankle extension surgery is completed, he will be the same height as his buddy Dennis Rodman.”

Midnight baseball

Posted September 30, 2014 by left coast sports babe
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Most sleepless night for baseball players not with the Oakland A’s tonight? Angels catchers Chris Iannetta & Hank Conger having nightmares about trying to throw out Royals baserunners….

 

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Kansas City Police (@kcpolice) for the winning tweet of the night   “We really need everyone to not commit crimes and drive safely right now. We’d like to hear the @Royals clinch this.”

 

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#‎As‬ and ‪#‎Royals‬ were so unhappy about a single wild-card game they decided to play two. ‪#‎ALWildcard‬

 

(Personally I think a single game playoff is wrong, but if MLB is going to have one, maybe they should at least let teams keep their 40 man September rosters…  Though it might have been fun watching infielders pitch in the 16th or 17th inning…)

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Wonder how many folks went to bed on the East Coast or turned off the TV in the 7th inning of the #ALWildcard and are waking up this am  “WTF?”

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In Las Vegas, the Philadelphia 76ers are projected to win 15.5 games this season. That many?

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So parents of young children were supposed to get all upset because ‪#‎HunterPence‬ dropped some F bombs on television but the AL Wild Card can feature a Viagra commercial with a sultry blonde woman saying “Plenty of guys have this issue — not just getting an erection, but keeping it.”

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Some cynics are claiming that Chelsea Clinton’s baby was perfectly timed for media impact. Ridiculous. As if anyone looking for maximum publicity would ever time an event to coincide with George Clooney’s wedding.

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Theo Epstein said the Cubs’ “goal is the NL Central title next year.” And millions of women are thinking “Yeah, our goal was to marry George Clooney too.”

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Michael Phelps was arrested last night for his 2nd DUI. Clearly this man would be better off sticking to pot.

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Biggest disappointment of MNF – Nobody found Gisele Bündchen to ask what she thought of her husband’s Patriots teammates afterwards.

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New Lakers coach Bryon Scott says he loves that “pretty much everyone has written us off. That’s obviously fuel to the fire.” Alas the fire that is fueled might be longtime fans burning season tickets.

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The NFL has quickly admitted they made a mistake penalizing Chiefs safety Husain Abdullah, who knelt in Muslim prayer last night after returning a interception for a touchdown. This would never have happened had Abdullah played for the Raiders, they don’t get any interceptions for touchdowns.

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The Rocco Forte hotel chain is offering guests booked through certain travel agents free wi-fi for up to three devices in a room. And a lot of travelers are thinking “So how do we decide which three?”

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#‎TonySparano‬ was named the ‪#‎Raiders‬ interim head coach. But really, aren’t all head coaches in Oakland “interim”?

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The FCC today eliminated their local blackout rule for NFL games that are not sold out. although the league says they don’t expect to change policy, claiming in a statement “The NFL is the only sports league that televises every one of its games on free, over-the-air television.” And of course the statement was covered on NFL Network and ESPN.

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Headline about the latest alleged Secret Service fail. “Obama Rode Elevator With Armed Ex-Convict.” Of course, these days an armed ex-con COULD be an elected official from an open carry state.

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Moving on.

Posted September 29, 2014 by left coast sports babe
Categories: baseball jokes, political jokes, sports jokes, Uncategorized

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Monday was the first day that MLB had to survive without Derek Jeter.  Tragic, really.

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A’s vs. Royals today in the AL Wild Card game. “I’ll take two teams where most Americans can’t name a single player for $500, Alex.”

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Not to say the ‪#‎Patriots‬ are getting old but rumor has it their video spy team has been using ‪#‎VHS‬ tape.

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On Monday, National Coffee Day, restaurants were giving away coffee to customers. Now at 2am EST Tuesday ‪#‎NationalCoffeeDay‬ is trending on Facebook…. Presumably because of all those wide awake people who had several cups of free coffee.

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After NC State almost upset Florida State, the Wolfpack coach caused the Seminoles of faking injures. Jimbo Fisher responded “Well, I accuse him of not knowing what he’s talking about. They’re not fake injuries. No one faked injuries, and we wouldn’t do that.” He might have added, “Really, everyone knows FSU only fakes grades and arrest reports.”

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Detroit Lions TE Joseph Fauria says he sprained his ankle when he fell while chasing after a puppy he was toilet training. The puppy now has more tackles than most of the Oakland Raiders defense.

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The ‪#‎Raiders‬ have fired ‪#‎DennisAllen‬. Shocking. So Oakland thinks they have found someone else to take over their train wreck?

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Geno Smith yelled “F— you” at a heckler after the game at MetLife Stadium. If this keeps up, even PETA members will be calling for Michael Vick. ‪#‎Jets‬

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In a 5-4 decision, the Supreme Court rejected Ohio early voting starting Sept. 30 instead of Oct. 7. Rationale? Presumably because the Court couldn’t figure out a way, yet, to overturn the 15th and 19th amendments.

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Joe Girardi said today he expects A-Rod to play 3rd next year, but that he doesn’t anticipate Rodriguez’s return to create a distraction. Hmm, is it time to start drug testing MLB managers?

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O’Hare Airport still has thousands of cancelled flights, and the FAA says Chicago air traffic won’t be back to normal until at last mid October. Which should be right about the time they start closing the airports for snow.

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A Southern California woman is suing the producers of “Glee” because she allegedly tripped over cables at Burbank Town Center while the series was filming there. Would be interesting to see security footage from the mall, over-under on the odds the woman was looking at her phone at the time

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Bus to hell, NASCAR version:  Tony Stewart said Monday in a press conference that retiring “would take the life out of me.” Is that really the right phrase to use after killing someone with your car?

Gone but not forgotten…

Posted September 28, 2014 by left coast sports babe
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The Empire State Building tonight featured blue and white pinstripes in honor of Derek Jeter. The worst thing now that Jeter has finally retired? New Yorkers have to turn their attention to the Jets.

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And yes, I know it’s about being the face of a franchise.   But the sad thing, MLB has paid much more attention to the retirement of Derek Jeter than to the death of Tony Gwynn.

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The Tampa Bay Buccaneers finally won a game today. And the 2008 Detroit Lions and 1976 Bucs presumably popped some cans of generic beer.

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Teddy Bridgewater, who took over for injured Vikings QB Matt Cassell, left today’s Minnesota win with a sprained ankle. “I’m available, I’m available” said Brett Favre.

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Wonder what the ‪#‎NFL‬ record is for scoring by a team without using the offense? ‪#‎Eagles‬ ‪#‎49ers‬.

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The NFL is trying hard to build their brand in England. And today’s game will help in one way. – even casual British sports fans will know the ‪#‎Raiders‬ s*ck.

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Rory McIlroy led Europe to another Ryder Cup win today. McIlroy is looking unstoppable, as long as he doesn’t cheat on a woman who knows how to handle a golf club.

 

Have to wonder how good the ‪#‎SFGiants‬ could have been had they just pushed the ‪#‎panik‬ button earlier this year.

 

Okay, really, glad she’s okay. But how many people could type “Jennifer Lopez” and “rear-ended” in the same sentence without giggling?

 

Would just one of these Republicans saying that we need “boots on the ground” to fight ISIS volunteer to fill a pair of those boots?

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More stuff you can’t make up. English version: the UK Sunday Mirror reports a leading Conservative minister, Brooks Newark, resigned over having exchanged explicit photos with someone he thought was a “20-something Tory PR woman”, but turned out to be a male reporter. Newark, a married father of five, had been heading up “Women2Win” – the Prime Minister’s drive to get more women in politics….

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Okay, who had the last undefeated teams in the ‪#‎NFL‬ in 2014 being the ‪#‎Cardinals‬ & ‪#‎Bengals‬? Now all you liars lower your hands.

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Worst part of tonight’s ‪#‎NOvsDAL‬ game is ‪#‎JerryJones‬ looking like a genius for firing ‪#‎RobRyan‬

Time passages.

Posted September 27, 2014 by left coast sports babe
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For anyone who has been, or still is, an ugly duckling. I give you this picture from Time Magazine;

george

 

(George Clooney)

 

Apparently Alex Rodriguez is getting in shape and preparing for his return to the Yankees after a year’s suspension. It’s enough to make you long for another Derek Jeter farewell retrospective.

 

Starbucks is apparently trying out a new latte that’s supposed to taste like Guinness. One word. “Why?”

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MLB Executive V.P. Joe Torre changed a hit against  Felix Hernandez last Tuesday to an error, making four runs later in that inning unearned.  And dropping the Seattle ace pitcher’s ERA by .16.  Which gives him a chance ot win the ERA title.

Next up, MLB will try to figure out what they have to change to give the Yankees and Derek Jeter a spot in the playoffs.

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#‎Stanford‬ managed to beat Washington today.  Despite proving again that they may be the best in college football with the ‪#‎redzone‬ “prevent offense.”

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So Eric Bolling’s wife is apparently the reason the FOX News host apologized for his “boobs on the ground” joke about the female fighter pilot: Perhaps a bit of understatement: “I made a joke and when I got home, I got the look, and realized some people didn’t think it was funny at all,’

 

The Milwaukee Brewers are retiring #1 for Bud Selig. And across the rest of baseball, fans are joining in by holding up one finger.

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From Dwight Perry: “Oakland Raiders are in London this weekend to play the Miami Dolphins. Don’t know how the football game will go, but the Black Hole is favored by 2½ over the soccer hooligans.”

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The only good thing about Michigan’s season? Other FBS teams should be lining up to offer the Wolverines million dollar payouts to play them.

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Yet more celebrity nude pictures have been hacked and posted online. Maybe it’s time to buy stock in Polaroid.

 

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Florida State barely escaped with a win over North Carolina State. Maybe all those police interviews are tiring Jameis Winston out.

Milestones.

Posted September 26, 2014 by left coast sports babe
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A lot of women around the world just don’t get the fuss over Derek Jeter’s retirement. Now, George Clooney getting married, that’s traumatic.

 

Chelsea Clinton has a daughter, Charlotte. And Fox News is already preparing a documentary on why the baby is the wrong choice for President in 2064.

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Rand Paul said the U.S.is in a full blown crisis –a spiritual crisis…. I think we must do something our world often tells us not to do: Seek God. He also blasted President Obama as an arrogant “autocrat” who ignores the Constitution. Uh, Article VI of that Constitution – “no religious Test shall ever be required as a qualification to any office or public trust under the United States.”

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New Dbacks GM Dave Stewart has fired manager ‪#‎KirkGibson‬. Finally, revenge from that 1988 ‪#‎WorldSeries‬.

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The $228 million Powerball winner in Northern California, Vinh Nguyen, was described as a “nail technician.” At this point the correct phrase should probably be “former nail technician.”

 

Apparently the Redskins were selling “expired” Budweiser beer last night at FedEx field from the 2014 World Cup. Guess Dan Snyder wanted beverages that matched the quality of his team on the field.

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A new Michigan State study found that married couples who met online are three times more likely to divorce than those who met face-to-face. Possibly because many of those couples end up continuing to meet others on line?

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True story from a United Airlines reservation agent dealing with an elite level flyer this morning with a cancelled flight from Chicago-O’Hare. “I’m sorry, but the airport is closed.” “Well then, put me on another airline.” ‪#‎facepalm‬

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Chicago airports reported about 1950 flight cancellations Friday. In other words, it was just like an average winter day for JetBlue.

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As all these pennant races come down to the wire, it must have been tough for MLB to pick headlines, after of course, Derek Jeter’s walk-off hit last night. And #2 was about Phil Hughes missing a $500,000 contract incentive by 1/3 of an inning. #3? “HOF thinks ahead for Jeter induction.” No joke.

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The NFL said today it found no evidence that a video of Ray Rice punching his fiancée was delivered to its headquarters. Presumably on the alleged date, all the league executives were busy anyway, looking for O.J’s “real killer.”

 

So Hunter Pence drops a few, okay, several, F-Bombs, during his clubhouse speech last night. Derek Jeter sits tonight at Fenway and gives Red Sox fans the finger.

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The AP is reporting that in April, a law enforcement official says he mailed the inside-elevator Ray Rice video to the NFL’s security chief, Jeffrey Miller… Next up for Goodell, attacking the credibility of the Post Office.

 

At the Value Voters Summit today, Sarah Palin ranted “Don’t retreat. You reload with truth, which I know is an endangered species at 1400 Pennsylvania Avenue.” Yeah, numbers, another construct of the liberal “lame-stream” media…..

We’re number 5, or 4? Or whatever.

Posted September 26, 2014 by left coast sports babe
Categories: Uncategorized

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The SF Giants clinched a playoff spot due to another Brewers meltdown.  So did they have Champagne mixed with Gatorade in tonight’s game cooler?

(Sure looked like it when the bullpen imploded in the 6th and 7th)

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Nothing is certain but death, taxes and Tim ‪#‎Lincecum‬ against the Padres. ‪#‎SFGiants‬

 

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Anyone easily offended, skip to the next item.  Anyone tired of vanilla clubhouse speeches, cover your children’s ears and listen to the Reverend Hunter Pence.  http://deadspin.com/we-now-go-live-to-hunter-pences-dirty-dirty-mouth-1639410347?utm_campaign=socialflow_deadspin_twitter&utm_source=deadspin_twitter&utm_medium=socialflow

 

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Stay classy. Fox News’s panelist Eric Bolling asked yesterday if a female fighter pilot may be called ‘boobs on the ground. Well, a Fox News panel can certainly be called “boobs on the air.”

 

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Anyone who has the attitude that Washington, D.C. is good for nothing, clearly isn’t a fan of an NFL team needing to get healthy.

 

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Have to wonder with all this controversy over the Redskins name, would it be any different if Dan Snyder were less of an a**hole and the team were less of a train wreck?

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Washington looked so overpowered tonight that out of habit House Republicans called for a Congessional Investigation against Obama. ‪#‎Redskins‬ ‪#‎Giants‬

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So much for that ‘special relationship” between the U.S. and England. The Dolphins and Raiders are playing in London this Sunday. We couldn’t have sent over better teams, like say, Oregon and Florida State?

(My friend Jeff K. says  ” It’s a showcase game. Trying to see if England can take one of those teams off our hands and send them down to some international league.“)

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A 6.2 earthquake hit near Anchorage, Alaska this morning. So will Sarah Palin blame this on the “lame-stream” media or Obama?

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Alex Kaseberg says the earthquake was so strong it shook Sarah into a bookstore.

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Mitt and Ann Romney are dropping hints that Mitt might run again in 2016. Perfect. Because Romney is like that ex who looks good from a nostalgic distance, until you start spending time with him/her again and get reminded why you dropped them.

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Attorney General Eric Holder has resigned and says he will step down as soon as a successor can be confirmed by the Senate. This Senate?! Means Holder will probably be around through the end of President Obama’s term.

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-The Orioles had clinched. So did Evan Meek groove a pitch to ‪#‎DerekJeter‬ ? ‪#‎Yankees‬

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#‎ESPN‬ & ‪#‎RogerGoodell‬ seem hell bent on making Congress look credible by comparison.

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At the University of Texas, new coach Charlie Strong has drug testing of football players on pace to double. This was reported by the Austin American-Statesman and presumably every SEC football recruiter.

 


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