Walking the plank?

Posted October 7, 2015 by left coast sports babe
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The 2015 98-win ‪#‎Pirates‬ are gone after 1 post-season game. The 1993 103-win ‪#‎Giants‬ would have liked 1 post-season game. ‪#‎Wildcard

‪For the second year in a row, the #‎Pirates‬ are out in post-season. But Pittsburgh is well on their way to becoming official MLB team of college basketball.  ‪#‎oneanddone‬

A new study found that Donald Trump supporters have the worst grammar on Facebook. And angry Trump fans are saying “Not true, my grammar is/was a great person, so is my grampa.”

Colin Kaepernick – “I don’t play for job security.” Good thing, as the 49ers QB isn’t playing like he’s going to have any.

A rainy June in Illinois wiped out a lot of this year’s U.S. pumpkin crop which may mean a canned pumpkin shortage by Thanksgiving. Stand by for Starbucks’ new “Zucchini Spice Latte.”

Sepp Blatter will reportedly be suspended for 90 days by FIFA’s ethics committee. Shocking. FIFA HAS an ethics committee?

The NFL is talking about playing some future games in Mexico. Talk about a way to undercut Trump’s allegations that criminals only come north across the border.

ESPN is reporting that NY Knicks coach Derek Fisher and Grizzlies forward Matt Barnes “were involved in an physical altercation” last weekend at the home of Barnes’ ex-wife. Who says the Knicks won’t make headlines this year?

The mother of the Oregon shooter is now saying when she was pregnant that she read “Trump’s Art of The Deal” to him as an unborn baby. Talk about a way to have a child start out thinking the world is an awful place.

Chuck E Cheese is going to expand their alcohol selection in order to appeal more to parents. Wonder how many drinks it will take before their food actually tastes like pizza?

Kevin McCarthy, backtracking on his comments implying that the Benghazi investigations in the House were a political weapon against Hillary Clinton: “I could have been more clear in my description of what was going forward.”
Uh, Rep. McCarthy. I think the problem was that you WERE crystal clear, and honest.

GOP House members today created a special committee on Wednesday to investigate Planned Parenthood. Could someone please ask Kevin McCarthy what the goals of the committee are?

Rupert Murdoch tweeted today in support of Ben Carson. “What about a real black President who can properly address the racial divide? And much else.” Assume Murdoch also considers Clarence Thomas a “real black” Supreme Court judge


Ben Carson doubling down on his Oregon shooting comments: “I was chuckling at the silly reporters, at not being able to understand such a simple concept. If you know someone is going to kill you, and they’re going to systematically kill you one by one, why would you sit there and wait for them to do it?”
Can’t wait to hear someone ask him a question about rape.

Finally,  if you are reading this, guess the Rapture hasn’t happened yet. ‪#‎Doomsday‬

And then there were nine.

Posted October 6, 2015 by left coast sports babe
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As pundits begin to opine on 2015 ‪#‎MLBPostseason‬, remember, there were 10 teams in the playoffs last year. The #10 seed was the ‪#‎SFGiants‬

The Yankees may be out of the playoffs, but they did accomplished something amazing this postseason: Got California sports fans rooting for a team from Texas. ‪#‎Astros‬

The Royals are good, the Blue Jays might be better. But today got to love this quote from when Astros’ GM Jeff Luhnow hired Stanford grad A.J. Hinch to manage the team, on Sept 29, 2014 “I think A.J. is going to be the manager that’s going to be here when we win the World Series.”

Jeff Passan tweeted “Yankees’ opening day payroll: $219,282,196, highest in the AL. Astros’ opening day payroll: $70,910,100, lowest in the AL.”

Well, hey, at least the Yankees will be able to afford those last minute October vacations.

DraftKings pulled its advertising from ESPN today after questions arose about possible insider trading at the company. Fantasy football could be fixed? It’s enough to make you long for the purity of pro wrestling.

I think I would have liked her. An 85 year old woman who passed away in NJ had the following obit in a local paper
“Devoted wife, mother, and grandmother, and lifelong Yankees fan Helen (Emanuel) Fowler, 85, passed away on Sept. 29, 2015, at the Chelsea in Fanwood, N.J. Mrs. Fowler was a former member of the Cranford First Aid Squad and a lifelong Yankees fan, with the exception of Alex Rodriguez.”

The NY Mets’ Matt Harvey, who talked about shutting it down this season to save his arm, today missed a mandatory team workout. Is Harvey trying to show he’s a big enough prima donna to compete with players in the NFL?

Many gun rights legislators like to point out that cars can be dangerous too. And then presuming they have insurance and a driver’s license, they get into their air-bag equipped cars, fasten their seat belts and drive the speed limit to vote against gun control.

“Community College of Philadelphia on lockdown after gun report.” Police have arrested a suspect and no one was actually shot this time. But this is getting to be way too much of a “fill-in-the-name-of-the-school” headline.

So I sometimes wonder, if natural disasters in Blue states are God’s wrath against immoral behavior, what are natural disasters in Red states? Thanks Michele Bachmann for clearing this up in a tweet today about the flooding in the South: “US turns its back on Israel, disasters following” ‪#‎NottheOnion‬

So can we rename referees in Seattle the 13th man? ‪#‎Seahawks ‬‪#‎Lions‬

In 2013, Senator Lindsey Graham voted against a federal bailout of NJ after Hurricane Sandy. So of course he would never dream of asking for federal emergency relief after Hurricane Joaquin hit South Carolina. Oops, wait….never mind. (He did say state officials would be “judicious” with the money. ‪#‎hypocrite‬)

Guess Ben Carson is bound and determined not to concede any of the crazy vote to Donald Trump. And he said it YESTERDAY. “I never saw a body with bullet holes that was more devastating than taking the right to arm ourselves away.”

Ben Carson now saying, had he been in Oregon, he would have attacked the shooter. And the rest of the GOP field would no doubt today be eulogizing him.

Washed away

Posted October 5, 2015 by left coast sports babe
Categories: airline jokes, As jokes, baseball jokes, cellphone jokes, pitino jokes, snowden jokes, Supreme court jokes, texas jokes

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Oops. With “biblical” flooding in South Carolina, NBC’s weatherman Al Roker has now apologized for tweeting a selfie with him and his crew standing besides a flooded car. Guess it’s not just teenage girls who smartphones can make stupid.

The Supreme Court today denied to hear San Jose’s claim that MLB has illegally blocked the A’s attempt to move to the South Bay. Maybe the city would have done better if they framed the case as an issue of religious freedom. ‪#‎ibelieveinthechurchofbaseball‬

The CEO of Alaska said the airline lost his checked bag. And over at United they’re thinking “”For the first time? Amateurs.”

Yankees pitcher C.C. Sabathia has checked himself into alcohol rehab. Shocking. Not that an athlete goes to rehab, but he does it without being arrested first.

After the Saints OT win yesterday, Texas governor Greg Abbott said the Cowboys’ defense was “more porous than the Texas border.” Surprised he didn’t blame Obama.

Well, we now have the answer to the question – How are the ‪#‎Lions‬ going to screw up their chance to win tonight? ‪#‎MNF‬ ‪#‎DETvsSEA‬

So in close games in the 4th quarter should referees at CenturyLink Field just go ahead & put ‪#‎Seahawks‬ logo on their uniforms? ‪#‎DETvsSEA‬

American Apparel has filed for bankruptcy. American Apparel is still in business?

In Tennessee last Saturday, an 11-year-old boy shot and killed an 8-year-old neighbor when the girl wouldn’t let him play with her puppy. ‪#‎Ifonlyshewerearmed‬

So just wondering ,how long until even atheists in SF start calling for ‪#‎Tebow‬? ‪#‎SF49ers‬

Louisville men’s basketball coach Rick Pitino, doubling down on his denials of being aware of a former director of basketball operations paying escorts to have sex with players and recruits – “Not myself, not one player, not one trainer, not one assistant, not one person knew anything about any of this. If anyone did, it would have been stopped on a dime. Not one person knew anything about it.”

Not ONE person? Again I think I like “pushed into a lifeboat” better.

Edward Snowden now is telling the BBC that he’d “volunteered to go to prison with the government many times,” if he returns to the US but had not received a formal plea-deal offer. Guess it says something about life in Russia these days if an American jail is more appealing.

Last week it came out that the Libertarian candidate for Senate in Florida had sacrificed a goat, now he also admits that in a pagan ritual he drank its blood. Where are the defenders of religious freedom on this one?

From Marc Ragovin –  “After only four games, the Miami Dolphins have axed head coach Bill Philbin. I guess Philbin now sleeps with the fishes.”

And guest driving on the bus to hell, T.C.  “Who knew that CC Sabathia was really CC & Seven Sabathia?”

An American Airlines pilot died last night in the cockpit of a red-eye flight to Boston. You know you’re on the bus to hell when the first thing you think of is “Airplane” jokes.

Serious thought for a change:

Jerry Brown, a former Jesuit seminarian, signed a bill in California today to allow terminally ill people to end their lives. The Catholic church opposes the bill, and the Governor said did not know what he would do if he were dying and in pain.
“But,I am certain, however, that it would be a comfort to be able to consider the options afforded by this bill. And I wouldn’t deny that right to others.”

Sometimes I think it’s a real shame Moonbeam is too old to run for President.

A farewell to arms

Posted October 4, 2015 by left coast sports babe
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Giants left-handed reliever Jeremy Affeldt gave a great emotional retirement speech at AT&T Park today. And amazingly he didn’t injure himself doing it.

Ichiro Suzuki pitched an inning during the Marlins final game of 2015, a 7-2 loss to the Phillies. He faced 5 batters, and gave up one earned run. After the game, Philadelphia reportedly offered him a chance to try out for their bullpen.


Another thought about that Philadelphia loss to Washington today: Help could be available – tanned, rested and ready – Tim Tebow.

The award for interesting sense of proportion for the day goes to the Bears’ Martellus Bennett, asked after Chicago’s first win “Is Jay Cutler too often criticized?” His response “They threw rocks at Jesus, & Jesus was an excellent guy who did a lot of awesome stuff.”caped up pretty hard for him after the game.”

Probably not their year, but the Saints are probably the happiest 1-3 team in the NFL tonight.
If there’s a twisted silver lining to today’s game and 9th inning meltdown, at least ‪#‎SFGiants‬ fans didn’t have to watch it happen in a one-game postseason playoff

(Should have let ‪#‎Affeldt‬ close. ‪#SFGiants)

The Red Sox have let strength and conditioning coach Pat Sandora go after four seasons. Who says Pandas aren’t dangerous?


Meanwhile the Redskins and Bears both won.  Hope this is not a sign of the apocalypse. ‪#‎IblameObama‬
In London, the Jets and Dolphins both had double-digit penalties, And Ndamukong Suh was caught on video today kicking Jets’ QB Ryan Fitzpatrick in the head. Is this part of the NFL’s mission to make Brits feel better about their soccer hooligans?
Clay Matthews taunted Colin Kaepernick: “You ain’t Russell Wilson, bro.” Well to be fair, so far this year, even Russell Wilson ain’t Russell Wilson.
#‎Stanford‬ and ‪#‎Michigan‬. “I’ll take two college football teams that look a lot better than we thought they were after the first week, Alex”

Jeb Bush’s Presidential campaign is going so badly, they are thinking of bringing his brother George W. to help. Some statements don’t even need a punchline. ‪#‎nottheOnion‬


New Mexico Secretary of State Dianna K. Duran is now facing 65 corruption charges including identity theft. She allegedly used her election fund for many personal uses, including jewelry purchases and casino visits. As Secretary of State Duran oversees campaign finance reporting…. ‪#‎youcannotmakethisstuffup‬

Utah Rep.Jason Chaffetz has announced he would like to succeed House Speaker John Boehner. Chaffetz is mostly known now for going after Planned Parenthood President Cecile Richards in her testimony before Congress. Makes sense, to lead today’s GOP you’ve got to show you can “Get Tough on Women.”

Breaking up isn’t that hard to do.

Posted October 4, 2015 by left coast sports babe
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The Steelers have just signed Chris Boswell, their fourth placekicker of the season. These relationships are so short-lived that Taylor Swift may be writing songs about them

A downtown Orlando bar is giving away free beer during UCF (University of Central Florida) games until the Golden Knights actually win a football game. Of course there is a hidden cost… actually having to watch UCF football games.

Regarding that “free beer until a win” offer. Pretty sure that offer won’t be repeated on NFL Sundays in Chicago.

Four teams in college football’s top ten lost today, and the top two, Ohio State and Michigan State, barely on.  The last time so many of the highly ranked fell like this,  the GOP presidential debates were involved.

Some sentences can not possibly be topped with a punchline. “The chairman of Florida’s Libertarian Party has resigned in protest of the party’s candidate for U.S. Senate who he said dismembered a goat as part of a cult ritual.”

Taylor Swift gave a shout-out to the Blue Jays during her concert last night in Toronto. And no doubt Kanye West immediately posted that the Dodgers were better.

Okay, since the Oregon shooter apparently shot Christians in the head, some are already labeling the killings religious persecution. The same folks are conveniently forgetting the shooter also labeled himself a conservative Republican. ‪#‎hewasacrazyasshole‬. Period.

UCLA’s kicker just hit a 53 yard field goal as time expired in the first half. He immediately got a call from the Pittsburgh Steelers.

Mean bitch Karma apparently doesn’t like taunting. After the Longhorns’ latest drubbing this morning, the Texas Rangers tweeted “Fire Charlie. ‪#‎bye‬” (in reference to Texas coach Charlie Strong.)
And then the Rangers, who were about to clinch the division, blew a 4 run lead in the 9th to lose 11-10 to the Angels.

35 points scored in the 3rd quarter. 21 for the Cardinal, 14 for Wildcats. When did Stanford and Arizona start playing arena football?

Rough week for some fans in Texas. Bad news that SMU’s men’s basketball team has been put on probation. Worse news that the University of Texas’s football team wasn’t.

11-15 inches of rain this weekend in some East Coast states. And out in California they’re just sobbing.

On ESPN, Joey Galloway, a former Ohio State and NFL WR argued against a player sitting out the season to save his health for the draft, and compared it to telling someone not to drive a car because of the risk of an accident. But did say the danger with a car is “you’ve got women driving.”
Is it too late to check Galloway for concussions? ‪#‎cantfixstupid‬

(and no, as a certified bus-to-hell substitute driver, it’s not the joke, or even being un-PC, it’s the being on a major network and cheerfully telling the un-PC joke in public.)

Missed it by THAT much.

Posted October 2, 2015 by left coast sports babe
Categories: Uncategorized

Now it looks like Hurricane Joaquin will miss the U.S. In New Jersey, residents who panicked and stocked up on a week’s worth of extra food have been advised they can just drop it off at the Governor’s office.

September was the first month in six years where no NFL player was arrested. But no doubt the league will be up to mid-season form shortly.

Mike Huckabee lashed out at Obama after the latest mass shooting for the President’s ‘ignorantly inflammatory’ plea for gun control. So I guess it’s not being “ignorantly inflammatory” after the gay marriage ruling to talk about the “criminalization of Christianity.”

The Pope apparently held a private meeting in the U.S. with a gay couple. Have to wonder, with an all-male priesthood, how often has Francis done that in Vatican City without even realizing it?

In Spain, Burger King has introduced “Whopper Wine.” Makes sense, enough wine and their Whoppers taste pretty good.

Friday night’s baseball game between the 69-90 Miami Marlins and the 62-97 Philadelphia Phillies has been postponed due to rain. “What a shame” said both fans who cared.

#‎NottheOnion‬. Jeb Bush on the Oregon shootings. “Look stuff happens, there’s always a crisis and the impulse is always to do something and it’s not always the right thing to do.”
Stuff happens? ‪#‎andhessupposedtobethesmartone‬?

Some Cubs fans have started a GoFundMe account to send Steve Bartman to the NL Wild Card game in Pittsburgh. The Pirates will no doubt make sure he has seats in the front row.:

Turns out two people who worked with Carly Fiorina at Hewlett Packard have donated to her Presidential campaign. That many?

An upcoming book apparently alleges that a former director of basketball operations at the University of Louisville paid an escort service to provide sex for Cardinals recruits. In related news, inquiries from prospective players to Louisville have skyrocketed.

Regarding this pay-for-sex scandal at Louisville with players and recruits. A lot of big time men’s college basketball programs are saying it would never happen at THEIR schools- because they have women who would sleep with the athletes for free.

Houston may not have clinched a post-season spot with tonight’s 21-3 win over Arizona. But this weekend they probably did outscore the Texans.

I know a lot of people don’t want to use the name of the Washington NFL football team because it’s offensive. The name I don’t intend to use because it’s offensive is that of the Oregon shooter. Why give him or any a**hole like him even posthumous publicity? ‪#‎forgethisname‬

Not in our pool?

Posted October 1, 2015 by left coast sports babe
Categories: Uncategorized

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The Houston Astros control their own playoff destiny this weekend in Arizona. So what are the D’backs doing about it – putting a shark in the pool?

On a lighter note, former SF Giants catcher and current Dbacks announcer Bob Brenly apparently had a good time with a sorority group taking nonstop selfies at last night’s game -“Better angle—that’s the best out of the 300 I’ve taken today—welcome to parenting 2015—oh wait, let me take a selfie with the hot dog…” I miss Brenly.

Apple watches are so far under-performing the company’s expectations. Makes some sense, the demographic that is old enough to think they need to wear a watch, is too old to figure out how to use the damn Apple things.

A new study says that “phubbing – (phone snubbing) a significant other frequently can damage romantic relationships and increase depression. Wonder how many people told their partners this and got “Honey, what did you say? I was answering a text.”

Jeremy ‪#‎Affeldt‬ says he will retire at end of season’s end. Guess he wants to spend more time getting injured with his family ‪#‎SFGiants‬

Staples says that they are going to resist the trend of opening on Thanksgiving and will remained closed this year on the holiday. Good of them. But really, who wakes up in the morning and says “Ooh, let’s go shopping for office supplies”?

Five-star forward Wenyen Gabriel announced today he is committing to Kentucky for basketball. Good news for John Calipari. But can we stop referring to them as “recruiting classes.” Nothing about Calipari’s recruiting is about classes..

The NCAA found that guard Keith Frazier passed an online course to meet NCAA initial eligibility standards and be admitted to the university, but that an admin had logged in as him and completed all the work. Frazier told ESPN “I didn’t even know what was going on. I didn’t know she was doing that class for me.I wasn’t aware of that.”
He might be telling the truth – “You mean I had course work?”

John Boehner has started damage control after Kevin McCarthy intimated that the Benghazi hearings were politically motivated. And I’ll bet the speaker is gleefully thinking “30 more days, 30 more days…..”

Kentucky Governor Steve Beshear is describing county clerk Kim Davis’ reasons for not granting marriage licenses to gay couples as ‘absurd’ and ‘obtuse.: Wonder how many critics are complaining about Beshear using foreign words.

From Bill Littlejohn: “September was the NFL’s first no-arrest month in six years.Except for the 49ers Super Bowl chances going into cardiac arrest.”

The ‪#‎Oregon‬ shooter was a 20 something white male. Surprisingly, alas, almost no one.  –

Maybe the law change we really need to make to reduce mass shootings in this country is to make it illegal for any man under 30 to own more than a single-shot hunting rifle.

It’s seriously a real shame that the serious mental health issues weren’t a major worry when the U.S. was founded. Because had something been put in an amendment, just MAYBE the GOP would be as fervent about mental health rights as they are about gun rights. Well, we can dream anyway.

Too many questions and too much we don’t know about today’s shooting in Oregon. One question for those who support gun rights: Okay,I get your right to hunt and to protect yourself. But how in the world does that necessitate having an assault weapon?


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