Cutting truth?

Posted August 29, 2014 by left coast sports babe
Categories: Uncategorized

Tags: , , , , , ,

Joan Rivers is in a medically induced coma following cardiac arrest and at this point doctors aren’t sure if she will recover. If she doesn’t survive, however, at least they won’t need any additional embalming fluid.

 

5 cuts to go and Michael Sam is still on the #Rams roster. Of course, this would have been easier for Sam if he were drafted by a team with more arrests and suspensions.

-

Hillary Clinton seems to be trying to distance herself from President Obama. Today she was saying “Don’t wear stupid suits.”

-

 

With her first child due this fall, Chelsea Clinton has quit her reporter job. Many Americans are shocked. Chelsea Clinton had a reporter job?

-

USC coach Steve Sarkisian indefinitely suspended Josh Shaw for lying, but today when asked if the star CB could be reinstated responded “”Potentially, sure. Potentially, sure.” As in potentially for the Sept 6. Stanford game?

 

The Indianapolis $tar reports that Colt$ owner Jim Ir$ay has reached a plea deal with his DUI and felony drug po$$e$$ion case. Now let’$ $ee what kind of deal Ir$ay can work out with NFL commi$$ioner Roger Goodell.

-

The latest GOP attack in Louisiana is that Senator Mary Landrieu is apparently registered to vote at the New Orleans house where her parents live. Guess she have registered her address as a hotel like President George H.W. Bush, or a vacation home like Dick Cheney?

-

Temple 37, Vanderbilt 7 last night? Vandy is actually part of the SEC. And looking like part of a plan where teams won’t have to go out of conference to schedule cupcakes.

-

The NFL said they will not fine Ndamukong Suh for roughing Jacksonville QB Chad Henne last Friday. Guess they figure they’ll pull in enough money from Suh during the regular season.

-

Tony Stewart will race again this weekend, and says that the “tragedy” of hitting Kevin Ward Jr. will “affect my life forever.” Well, it certainly affected Ward’s.

 

Ah the laws of unintended conseqences. The Satanic Temple just announced that based on the Supreme Court’s Hobby Lobby decision, their believers should be exempt from any state’s informed consent laws that require women considering abortions to read pro-life material.

-

From Bill Littlejohn.  ” This year, Jacksonville Jaguars  season ticket holders get a half-price  concealed weapon permit deal.  I think we can all hope they don’t offer that deal to Raider fans.”

Stirring the pot.

Posted August 28, 2014 by left coast sports babe
Categories: Uncategorized

Tags: , , , , , , ,

Dodgers LF Scott Van Slyke sprained his ankle yesterday night while playing in Arizona, and claimed it was because “They’ve got bad grass here.” Dude!   You want good grass, sign with the Colorado Rockies.

-

Athletic director Pat Haden says USC officials vetted Josh Shaw’s story 12 times. Who was in charge of the investigation, O.J. Simpson? And is he still looking for the real hero?

-

It’s midnight. Does anyone know where Josh Shaw’s latest story on his injury is?

 

Five Easy Pieces moment in Palo Alto: Wanting a glass of sparkling wine while waiting for a table at Delfina. Not on the menu. But but they have a Bellini. Asked nice young man if they could do prosecco. “He didn’t know what prosecco was but said no. Asked what was in Bellini. He checked and said, “peach and prosecco.” Okay, can you do prosecco? “No.” Alas, a woman coworker who overheard overruled him before I got to ask for the “Bellini, hold the Peach.”

-

USC CB Josh Shaw was suspended indefinitely for lying to explain an injury, now senior RB Anthony Brown quit the Trojans saying “Can’t play for a racist MAN!!!!!”” And just guessing somewhere that Lane Kiffin is cackling.

-

46 batters retired in a row. A major league baseball all-time record for Yusmeiro Petit. Your move, Kershaw? #Dodgers #SFGiants

-

Vikings star RB Adrian Peterson apparently told Dallas owner Jerry Jones he would like to play for him and the Cowboys. Quick, check Peterson for concussions.

-

Apple apparently will unveil iPhones with bigger screens next month. So at least when people look at their screens while walking and driving they won’t have to squint as much.

-

An internal GOP poll shows that most women are “barely receptive” to Republicans and believe they are “stuck in the past.” Which no doubt will motivate many in the party – to try to repeal the 19th amendment.

-

Roger Goodell, citing precedent for his two-game suspension for Ray Rice, has now announced that the NFL will suspend players and personnel six games for domestic violence, with a lifetime ban from the league for a second offense. So if it’s about precedents and rules, should the league put in writing what a first offense ban might be for say, actually killing someone?

 

An American Airlines flight from Miami to Paris was diverted to Boston over an argument over a passenger reclining his seat. If this keeps happening presumably airlines will try to prevent such issues, by making all seats non-reclining.

-

Obama said at a press conference today that “we don’t have a strategy yet’ in Syria. Critics are furious, they want the President to spell out what he intends to do so they can say it is wrong.

-

Joan Rivers is apparently in a medically induced coma after she stopped breathing during throat surgery. In her honor assume other comedians will rush to make inappropriate jokes?

 

 

From Alex Kaseberg. ” In Malibu, 50-year-old surfing legend, Laird Hamilton, rescued a surfer from drowning. Immediately afterward, Hamilton was offered a spot on the USC football team.”

-

 

From T.C.  “Texas  A&M QB Kenny Hill passed for 511 yds and broke Johnny Manziel’s single game passing record tonight. In related news, the patent office says that the name Kenny Football has not yet been copyrighted.”

 

Parent trap.

Posted August 27, 2014 by left coast sports babe
Categories: Uncategorized

Tags: , , , , ,

In July,  a South Carolina working  mother of a 9 year old girl was arrested for letting her daughter go to the park alone, with a cellphone, during daylight hours.   The mom was booked for “unlawful conduct towards a child. ” Anyone but me having a problem with the fact that she was charged with a crime, but we have no rules for parents who figure it’s okay to let their daughter of the same age learn to shoot an submachine gun?

 

-

The story of the 9 year old girl who lost control of an Uzi and fatally shot her instructor at a shooting range outside Las Vegas has gone national. Millions of Americans are appalled. But wonder how many are thinking well, they should have started her with guns younger…

-

 

A new survey of NFL players found that 75% said they agree with President Obama’s statement that he does not think marijuana is more dangerous than alcohol. And presumably the other 25% responded “Dude, what was that question again?”

 

 

Hurricane Cristobal and Tropical Storm Marie are creating huge waves and high surf on both coasts. Is it too soon to start a pool on the over-under for Darwin Awards?

 

Josh Shaw admitted today that he made up the story about spraining his ankles while rescuing his nephew from drowning. USC suspended him indefinitely – translation “at least the first half of the Fresno State game.” And wonder how long it will take Shaw to attempt to use the story for credit in a Creative Writing course?

-

Rumors are flying that USC CB Josh Shaw actually broke his ankles in an altercation with his girlfriend, but his attorney insists “There is absolutely NO domestic violence.” And why should we doubt anything Shaw says?

-

Mark your calendars. September 6, USC plays Stanford, in Palo Alto. Forget the game. The half time show should be memorable. Wonder how many members of the band will show up on crutches.

-

-

Parents are suing a Texas day care for allegedly duct taping their fidgety toddlers to nap mats. Millions of Americans read this story and are appalled. But wonder how many others are thinking “could that be arranged with airline seats?”

-

Police near Houston are looking for a man who abandoned a cellphone with a selfie on it at a 4-acre marijuana farm they recently raided.   Doesn’t do much to dispel that marijuana and short term memory issue….

-

Apparently there’s a glitch in Madden 15 that makes players fly around the field like they have stepped on a land mine or something. Let’s hope this isn’t a trial balloon for the NFL trying to increase viewship numbers.

 

ESPN now regrets’ the SportsCenter report Michael Sam that focused on shower habits. More like they regret finding out that most Americans are considerably more mature on the subject than the network is….

-

 

The NFL upheld Josh Gordon’s year-long suspension for using marijuana and violating the league’s substance-abuse policy. So the message is clear to young men, if you get stressed, put down the joint and take it out on your girlfriend.

-

A man has lost his $34,000 suit against British Airways after he and his partner were flown to Grenada in the Caribbean instead of Granada in Spain. He claims he asked the airline for the correct city and didn’t notice the mistake until he was on the connecting flight from London. Uh, and he didn’t notice the flight time as several hours from England to what he thought would be Spain? #cantfixstupid

 

 

We don’t need another (fake) hero?

Posted August 27, 2014 by left coast sports babe
Categories: Uncategorized

Tags: , , , ,

Theories abound as to how exactly #USC star Josh Shaw broke his ankles. One thing for sure, since the Trojans play in Palo Alto Sept 6, the Stanford band is working overtime.

-

Great story about USC star CB Josh Shaw injuring his ankles by leaping from balcony to save his 7-year-old nephew from drowning. Except now have heard a rumor that it was just that, a story. Only good thing if this disappointing rumor is true – I don’t have to make an exception and root for a Trojan player.

-

Another thought about this unraveling “hero” story involving USC star Josh Shaw. Leaving aside the moral issues, how does any young man in this plugged-in 24/7 era think that you can lie about ANYTHING when you’re in the public eye and get away with it? And some wonder where athletes get their #dumbjock reputations.

-

-

My son says #Traveler is no longer the biggest #Trojanhorse at #USC. #JoshShaw

-
The tortured turf saga at the SF 49ers new Levi’s Stadium continues, as the grass has had to be ripped out and replaced again. Who designed this field, the Marquis de Sod?

-

Got to love Rams DE #ChrisLong, tweeting in response to ridiculous ESPN #MichaelSam shower story. “Dear ESPN, Everyone but you is over it.”

-
The Chicago Cubs are going to call up Cuban outfielder Jorge Soler. Which will be one step closer to Soler’s dream of playing for a major league team.

-
In Arizona, a nine-year old girl accidentally shot and killed the instructor who was teaching her how to use an Uzi. I’m guessing the girl didn’t get a passing grade. #ifonlyhehadbeenarmed.

-

NFL Nation Confidential asked over 100 players “The only way I’d play for (team name) is if they doubled my salary. The Raiders “won” with 23% followed by the Bills at 19%. Of course that might be because many players forgot there was a team in Buffalo.

-

-
Apparently some are screaming sexism for an Emmy awards bit when Sofia Vergara stood on a rotating pedestal doing nothing but looking sexy during a speech from the chair of the Television Academy. Really?! But okay, it would be fair next year to use the pedestal for George Clooney.

-
This story over passengers being kicked off a plane for a fight over a device to keep a seat from reclining is going viral. United meanwhile is no doubt figuring out how to optimize revenue from the situation in future – perhaps they’ll have passengers bid to see how much it’s worth to recline a seat, and how much to keep the seat in front of you upright?

-
So Warren Buffett is involved in this potential Burger King – Tim Horton inversion deal. Since Buffett also advocates for higher taxes and closing loopholes once this deal gets done will he call for changing the tax rules afterwards?

The swing’s the thing?

Posted August 25, 2014 by left coast sports babe
Categories: Uncategorized

Tags: , , , ,

Tiger Woods has parted ways with another swing coach. Wonder when Tiger will figure out – it’s not his swing coach.

 

Swing coach Sean Foley said his split with Tiger Woods was “amicable.” Well, duh, does anyone think Tiger is stupid enough to anger someone who knows how to wield a golf club?

-

>

-

Congresswoman Jackie Speier has introduced a bill to eliminate the deadline for ERA ratification, as it fell 3 states short in 1982. Would be nice to have it finally adopted. Although these days it sometimes feels like a number of states wouldn’t ratify the 19th amendment.

-

Burger King is thinking of buying Canadian doughnut maker Tim Horton’s, so they can do an inversion and declare themselves a Canadian company for tax purposes. So where are the cries of patriotism from flag-waving conservatives on this one?

-

Airline logic at its finest again. United has equipped many of its flights with wi-fi, but no power outlets. And the wi-fi fee is per flight, not per hour…..

-

A good thing that journalist Peter Theo Curtis was released. Who’d ever think we’d say “luckily his kidnappers were only Al-Qaida.”

-

Two phrases #SFGiants fans would like to see retired in 2014. “Fill-in-the-blank pitcher just had his best outing of the year against the Giants” And “worst loss of the season.”

-

 

The Napa quake damaged some wineries while many escaped unscathed. But wonder who will be the first to bottle “VERY blended wines.”

-

The NFL gave Brandon Meriweather for the first two games of the season for another helmet-to-helmet hit. He can’t be at the team’s facility or have any contact with team personnel from Sept. 1-15. And presumably stay out of casino elevators?

-

New York CB Dimitri Patterson has now been suspended by the Jets, who apparently weren’t happy with his explanation as to why he was AWOL for 48 hours. Another example of why education matters. Seems like Patterson could have used creative writing and/or drama courses.

All shook up?

Posted August 25, 2014 by left coast sports babe
Categories: Uncategorized

Today’s Napa quake injured over 100 people, but CNN host Ana Cabrera said it was “heartbreaking” to see images of broken wine bottles. And hey, maybe if Trader Joe’s lost all their inventory it would have been a wasted $100 worth of Two-Buck-Chuck.

-

But the much-derided and plumbing-challenged O.Co Coliseum appears to have received no damage in today’s Northern California quake. But thinking fans for tonight’s ESPN Sunday Night Baseball As vs Angels game had to be crossing their fingers when they flushed the toilets.

-

Former Redskins QB Joe Theismann last night said that Kirk Cousins has been a better quarterback than RGIII. Has to be a relief in some way for Washington. A potential controversy that doesn’t center around their name.

-

Only  good news Sunday for Northern California baseball fans – the Dodgers pitching did a pretty good job of trying to out suck the #SFGiants bullpen today.

 

Sony said today their PlayStation Network was targeted in a attack. Shocking. As in anyone thought it was worth attacking?

 

#NYJets cornerback Dimitri Patterson, who had disappearedfor 48 hours, is apparently safe and sound and ready to play . Jets fans wish the same could be said for the rest of the team’s offense.

 

 

 

 

Told by an idiot

Posted August 24, 2014 by left coast sports babe
Categories: Uncategorized

Tags: , , , , , ,

Did Shakespeare envision NFL preseason football when he wrote “sound and fury, signifying nothing?”

-

A chef in China decapitated a rare Indochinese spitting cobra to make a snake soup, and the severed head bit him with a fatal dose of venom. Now that’s “Die Hard, with a Vengeance.”

-

 

Why there is no satire? A young woman who won the title of Miss Antioquia was stripped of her crown and kicked out of the Miss Colombia pageant after online pictures showed her in an overly skimpy bikini. As opposed to the skimpy bikini which she was supposed to wear in the pageant?

-

Bud Selig when asked about what he will do about Pete Rose “I’m going to do what I think is right.” What, no blue ribbon committee?

-

Congratulations to the Chicago Little League team for getting to the LLWS finals. Who knows if they can beat South Korea tomorrow. But Vegas already has them favored in a hypothetical matchup with the Cubs.

-

Minnesota scored 32 against Detroit in two games. Time for the Tigers to fire their defensive coordinator?

-

The Oakland Athletics are checking out the possibility of building a new stadium on their Coliseum site. Sounds good, but as far as where they play while they’re building, has anyone thought about holding off on pushing that plunger at Candlestick.

-

Bud Selig, dodging a question about Pete Rose. “You are always concerned about integrity. A sport without integrity is not a sport.” And over at the BCS they’re just giggling.

-

From my funny friend Jim Barach  – “A new app tells the user how much time they are spending on their smartphone. Which is probably too much if you need an app to tell you how much time you are spending on your smartphone.”

-

 

The Pentagon is complaining that in 2014 there have been at least 4 times that a Chinese warplane has buzzed U.S. military aircraft. The Chinese Defense Ministry said the criticism is “totally groundless.” Would they have preferred the US made Asian driver jokes?

 

 

 

Michael Sam sacked Johnny Manziel tonight. In what must have been a very tough moment for anyone who was both tired of Johnny Football’s act and a homophobe.

-

But was the sack enough to keep Michael on the team?  So that we can all write the headline  “Sam I Ram.”

 


Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 230 other followers